Places To Go For HOPE And Coping Help

[MamaHopeful]

Hello.
I was wondering if any of you have places to go online that remind you of coping skills and hopeful things?
Especially when I can't sleep due to constant flashbacks waking me up, it would be so nice to have somewhere online to visit that reminds me of what to do in that terrified state.
I always end up emailing my therapist, but obviously she doesn't reply haha.
Thank you so much!

 

[bellbird]

Well, I come to this site generally :p

Ok, not helpful I know.

In terms of hopeful things, what are your interests?
For me, hopeful places can be things like going onto the NASA app and looking at beautiful photos of nebulae and galaxies (our universe is stunning beyond words), or opening the long-running word document I have where I write down inspiring or motivating quotes that I come across.

In terms of remembering coping strategies for PTSD, I do think this site is a wonderful resource.
If you're looking for coping strategies for a particular symptom, or other mental illness, there might be other sites that are of use.

For example, in NZ we've got depression.org.nz

If you're waking up from nightmares, and the primary coping strategy that's requiring is grounding, then I find that listening to music or watching YouTube videos can help.

I tend to cycle in terms of which YouTube videos I'll watch. Sometimes I'll watch makeup tutorials, other times it's cooking shows that are soothing, or watching glass blowing or people making Miniatures.

Or you could try something as simple as writing out some coping strategies - grounding, etc. that have helped on the past, onto a post it note and sticking it on your laptop screen so that when you go to email your T, you'll be reminded of them there.

I hope something in there helps. Nightmares and flashbacks are awful.
:hug:

 

[MamaHopeful]

Thank you!
I love the idea of writing it down on a post it note.
I guess I don't have any coping strategies. The only one my T gives me is "put ice cubes in your hands" and "go talk to your neighbor" but my neighbor just moved out. So that's why I'm left so confused looking for more coping techniques.
Where on this site have you found lists of coping strategies? I mostly see posts (even from myself) from people saying they are terrified or in a bad place.
Is there a reliable site that lists coping strategies?
I did CPT and it was WONDERFUL but it didn't offer me any coping for the symptoms that still remain.
I'm off to look up grounding. Waking up with panic attacks is hard. Constantly catastrophizing is hard. Googling symptoms makes a big mess.
I need other options,
Michelle

 

[blackemerald1]

Where on this site have you found lists of coping strategies? I mostly see posts (even from myself) from people saying they are terrified or in a bad place.

^^If you keep reading those posts - you will find that forum members here have a wealth of information they have shared and are willing to share again on how to ground and calm down from night terrors etc., Do a search with this site's search function. It does work. :)

I will list some here in brief but there are many and I am sure at least one of them should work. Some require practice and persistence to get to a noticeable benefit.

I think it would be good to point out that looking at screens after a night terror is NOT going to help you go back to sleep.

Screens wake your brain up even more than it was. Screens don't let your brain calm down and go into it's normal sleep pattern.

So, if you have a good book - that is a great way of distracting and settling back down again. Your library could become your next playground for your mind. :)

1. Sucking on a cough lolly or a strong flavoured one,
2. Having a glass of ice cold water,
3. Standing on the floor in bare feet - concentrate on the floor..feeling it etc.,
4. Brush your hair slowly - concentrate on the feeling
5. Brush your teeth slowly
6. Run and have a warm (but not hot) bath with really nice calming salts or essential oils
7. Get a essential oil diffuser & some essential oils & put that going ( this one with thanks to @shimmerz :hug:)
8. Run the inside of your wrists under cold water or run cold water on your feet (sitting on the side of the bath but be careful with this because if you are still waking up it could be risky re falls)

Get up the next morning early and stay awake during the day. Go for a walk in the fresh air and sunshine at least once and for a min of 10 mins. Get up each day at the same time.

Start your bed routine at the same time each night and turn off all screens at least one hour before. Turn off your phone or put it on silent and don't have it next to your bed!

Make your room completely dark. No lights from charging phones, standby tv's, night-light's - nothing. Have a night-light outside your room if necessary but not in your room.

Make sure you are neither too hot or too cold with pyjamas or blankets etc.,

Keep a note book and pen beside your bed and write letters to yourself. Don't type stuff. Write stuff - that is very grounding.

Hope this helps a little and gets you looking for further techniques that suit you. Remember if something works that's great but if it doesn't keep looking and you will find one that you really like eventually. But the aim should be to sleep uninterrupted through the night of course.

In respect to constant panic attacks or nightmares, night-terrors etc., disrupted sleep occurring overnight - I hope you are being guided by a therapist who is really listening to you. Sleep deprivation is very harmful (long term) and it's important that you work on this.

 

[MamaHopeful]

Thank you.

I only miss sleep once or twice every few months. But when it hits it hits hard. THANK YOU for all of this advice!

 

[bellbird]

Where on this site have you found lists of coping strategies?

^^If you keep reading those posts - you will find that forum members here have a wealth of information they have shared and are willing to share again on how to ground and calm down from night terrors etc., Do a search with this site's search function. It does work. :)

Yep, I agree with @blackemerald1 - have a bit more of a look around on the site.

The Social forum -> Social has many long-running threads that can be useful for acute-type coping strategies to help with grounding in the present.
And of course there are many other forums on this site where people will often share coping strategies for specific stressors.

I'll share some of mine too.

1. Diaphragmatic breathing (so your belly should be moving in and out instead of your chest).
Breathe in through your nose for a count of 5, hold for 2, and breathe out slowly through your mouth for 5, picturing that the air you breathe out is like a ribbon (this one came from my T :) ).

2. Count backwards from 10, slowly, and focus on each number as you say it (this one came from the internet, I think counting the numbers backwards engages a different part of your brain from the anxiety-inducing/provoking part).

3. I have a big teddy bear who I hug, and sometimes even carry him around the house with me.

4. When I wake up from a nightmare I tell myself my full name, my address, and that I am safe.

5. Naming objects out loud that I can see.
eg. desk, computer screen, pink folder (I'm in my office currently lol).
The more grounding that you need in that moment, the more detailed you can be with the descriptions.

6. Creating an environment in your bedroom through sensory cues, that will remind your body that you are there, and not in your nightmare (passed on to me from the lovely @Swift )
-scented candles
-warm soothing lights that you can turn on when you wake/keep on when you sleep (depending how dark you need it to sleep). I bought myself a Himalayan salt lamp which emits a really calming glow, and I've also got a string of fairy lights on my wall that I can turn on when I wake
-tactile things like a soft toy, soft blankets
-create a playlist of soothing music that you can put on when you wake

7. Sometimes if a nightmare has been particularly bad, I have to make myself get up and completely remove myself from the environment where the nightmare happened.
I'll go to the kitchen and make a cup of tea and fill up my hot water bottle.
The warmth is very comforting.

8. Drink ice cold water.
I have one water bottle that I keep filled up and at the fridge at all times.
Or fill up the bathroom sink with cold water and splash it on your face.
The cold is good for shocking your body out of a panic/anxiety.

9. Practice grounding techniques daily, and not just in the acute moments when you "need" them.
Things like the diaphragmatic breathing, meditations (eg. body scanning, breath-focused, gratitude), exercise, and maintaining a regular bed time, are all things that when practiced regularly and on a long-term basis, can have a positive effect on our body and retrain our brains towards -calm- being the default state.

 

[hithere]

I did CPT and it was WONDERFUL but it didn't offer me any coping for the symptoms that still remain.
Michelle

I am interested in your experience with CPT. I don't want to change the topic of your thread, though, so if you don't want to answer about that here I will start a new thread about CPT.
As far as hopeful things online; I know why you ask. I go through periods where I am propelled out of my sleep and right into terrifying or hopeless feelings and thoughts. It's dark and everyone is asleep. I do come on here sometimes in those situations. I have written out my own affirmations of hope and overcoming attitudes. I wrote them when I was "normal" and "sane" and practiced saying them so when I'm hijacked in that period after it happens I'll take up the notebook and read them. I also recorded them on my phone, so I'll play them softly while I stay cozy under the covers.

 

[Wendell_R]

I look up soothing images online, print them out, and paste them in a journal I keep. I add some crayon drawing around the pictures sometimes.

Whenever something works, I write it down in my journal so I have my own "go to" list that tells me what to do when my brain doesn't work.

 

[Shesalynx]

Hard to finally accept but i believe in going to multiple therapists as much as you can afford...not that one can replace the other, but just seems to help at desperate times.

Go to as many other Therapists or groups as you can afford. Even tho your main person is so important and irreplaceable,, it does help,.. at least it does for me if I can just have faith in it. .. very sad..

 

[MamaHopeful]

Well, I come to this site generally :p

Ok, not helpful I know.

In terms of hopeful things, what are your interests?
For me, hopeful places can be things like going onto the NASA app and looking at beautiful photos of nebulae and galaxies (our universe is stunning beyond words), or opening the long-running word document I have where I write down inspiring or motivating quotes that I come across.

In terms of remembering coping strategies for PTSD, I do think this site is a wonderful resource.
If you're looking for coping strategies for a particular symptom, or other mental illness, there might be other sites that are of use.

For example, in NZ we've got depression.org.nz

If you're waking up from nightmares, and the primary coping strategy that's requiring is grounding, then I find that listening to music or watching YouTube videos can help.

I tend to cycle in terms of which YouTube videos I'll watch. Sometimes I'll watch makeup tutorials, other times it's cooking shows that are soothing, or watching glass blowing or people making Miniatures.

Or you could try something as simple as writing out some coping strategies - grounding, etc. that have helped on the past, onto a post it note and sticking it on your laptop screen so that when you go to email your T, you'll be reminded of them there.

I hope something in there helps. Nightmares and flashbacks are awful.
:hug:

" If you're waking up from nightmares, and the primary coping strategy that's requiring is grounding, then I find that listening to music or watching YouTube videos can help."

How did you learn this? I need to learn how to help myself. thank you.

Yep, I agree with @blackemerald1 - have a bit more of a look around on the site.

The Social forum -> Social has many long-running threads that can be useful for acute-type coping strategies to help with grounding in the present.
And of course there are many other forums on this site where people will often share coping strategies for specific stressors.

I'll share some of mine too.

1. Diaphragmatic breathing (so your belly should be moving in and out instead of your chest).
Breathe in through your nose for a count of 5, hold for 2, and breathe out slowly through your mouth for 5, picturing that the air you breathe out is like a ribbon (this one came from my T :) ).

2. Count backwards from 10, slowly, and focus on each number as you say it (this one came from the internet, I think counting the numbers backwards engages a different part of your brain from the anxiety-inducing/provoking part).

3. I have a big teddy bear who I hug, and sometimes even carry him around the house with me.

4. When I wake up from a nightmare I tell myself my full name, my address, and that I am safe.

5. Naming objects out loud that I can see.
eg. desk, computer screen, pink folder (I'm in my office currently lol).
The more grounding that you need in that moment, the more detailed you can be with the descriptions.

6. Creating an environment in your bedroom through sensory cues, that will remind your body that you are there, and not in your nightmare (passed on to me from the lovely @Swift )
-scented candles
-warm soothing lights that you can turn on when you wake/keep on when you sleep (depending how dark you need it to sleep). I bought myself a Himalayan salt lamp which emits a really calming glow, and I've also got a string of fairy lights on my wall that I can turn on when I wake
-tactile things like a soft toy, soft blankets
-create a playlist of soothing music that you can put on when you wake

7. Sometimes if a nightmare has been particularly bad, I have to make myself get up and completely remove myself from the environment where the nightmare happened.
I'll go to the kitchen and make a cup of tea and fill up my hot water bottle.
The warmth is very comforting.

8. Drink ice cold water.
I have one water bottle that I keep filled up and at the fridge at all times.
Or fill up the bathroom sink with cold water and splash it on your face.
The cold is good for shocking your body out of a panic/anxiety.

9. Practice grounding techniques daily, and not just in the acute moments when you "need" them.
Things like the diaphragmatic breathing, meditations (eg. body scanning, breath-focused, gratitude), exercise, and maintaining a regular bed time, are all things that when practiced regularly and on a long-term basis, can have a positive effect on our body and retrain our brains towards -calm- being the default state.

-- Thank you for these!!!! I have yet to find a therapist who works with trauma so this list is so valuable!!

 

[bellbird]

How did you learn this? I need to learn how to help myself. thank you.

Try to think of things that have made you feel a little better during tough moments in the past; things that you instinctively reach for.

Slowly you will build up an inventory of techniques.
Although there are plenty of self help books out there, you know yourself best, and what helps some people doesn't necessarily help others.
Listen to yourself in those moments. A lot of it is trial and error, but you will get there :hug: