... I always thought Americans are more polite... but I think it is polite to ask if person wants to come before you announce that of course he is coming in front of a number of people
That’s classic American manners... inviting someone by informing them that they are coming, rather than asking. It’s part of the whole Arrogant-American thing.
In practice, however, there is no more obligation to being told you’re coming, than being asked to come. You can still say no/ maybe/ of course we would love to but don’t know if it’s possible/ etc. ((Although a “no” is almost never accepted, if you decline in the moment, but always accepted later in private. If you say no in the moment, then they must try and convince you. Again, just by custom.)) It’s one of the social dances we play over here. Although different parts of the country have different rules. Yes / no / no / yes... :confused: ... Because I move around so much, and am not always paying attentiom to what part of the country I’m in, I just defer nearly all invites with maybe/would love to but don’t know if I can/ etc. So if I’m supposed to be playing a game :wtf: that let’s fhem play it, but if not I don’t miss out
or commit to something.
Germans are far more direct, and are thus careful not to order people around when it would be impolite. Americans order everyone around, thinking people will do as they like, rather than as they’re told, and consider it being “extra friendly” & rather than bossy/rude/arrogant.
It’s also a way we compliment people. The more we like someone, the less “choice” our words show. You MUST come, I won’t take no for an answer! // Of course, you are coming! Etc. just means you’re special to them & they want you (and others) to know that. But just because the words show no choice, the practice is that it is assumed to be your choice, and you’ve been asked, not told.
