Platitudes: Which Ones Make You Scream?

[CraftyCath]

I agree Ms Spock.

It seems to me that people who just plod along in life with seemingly no problems and few struggles are wearing rose-tinted glasses and dissemble enough that they cannot see their own problems - they hide them so well they do not deal with them. These people never mature and seldom change and they often fall at the first hurdle.

It takes a strong character to overcome great difficulties and continue on the journey. When we are at our lowest and need some help, others want us to be strong because they are too weak to deal with it. No matter how much they love us and worry for us they should be there for us as support until we are strong enough to stand on our own. Perhaps, when we are feeling a little stronger, we can be there for them when they find themselves in difficulty.

That's what I love about this forum, people who can help, encourage and support one another. When one of is is down, another can lift us up and vice-versa.

 

[Rob_Dog19]

I have a list of "radical acceptance" phrases that make me sick to my stomach even though they're supposed to make me feel better...but the one that annoys me the most is "this is the way things have to be" really? I had to be abused by my brother for years? really? I don't think that HAD to happen -_- gahh

 

[leweyoz]

My hubby got - why doesn't he go back to work, it'll take his mind off it. (That's what gave it to him)

There's no more PTSD by his therapist. (he told her about the massive meltdown he had afterwards and she literally teared up and was so apologetic)

Just move it aside and go around it, move on with your life. ( hmm hadn't thought of that... if only it were that easy)

 

[ms spock]

Yes move it aside and go around it, move on with your life - was said to me by a friend, (she is morning the loss of her partner of 25 years) yet she is surrounded by people, sees his family and goes out with them each weekend, all her family and our friendship network send her messages every single day for the last year and a half since his death and so on and so forth. I felt resentful - I have no family and I am doing it on my own. If I had as much money as she has and every thing at her disposal I might do a bit better with it all and I might not. But at least more of a chance...

 

[leweyoz]

Hope you feel cared for here Ms Spock. PTSD sucks big time, people just don't get it. Must admit before we were faced with it, I can't say I knew very much about mental health issues in general. Wonder if I offended anyone.

I'm sorry you don't have anyone to give you a physical hug, so heres a cyber one...

 

[SadDreamer]

I don't know if these are platitudes but all of these types of phrases to people with PTSD are just hurtful and upsetting...

"you sound upset, you should talk to your Therapist"- really? so why would you start a conversation with me, if you really don't want to have a conversation at all?
"normal people aren't this angry, talk to someone" - I am TRYING to talk to you right now!!
"talk to someone" - I am talking to you, so listen!!
"maybe you should be on medication" - you pop xanax like their candy, what right do you have to tell me that? you are not my therapist or doctor!
"this isn't a normal reaction" -really? tell me what normal is? I would LOVE to know!
"don't let it get to you" - tell me how, and I'd gladly try.
"stop being so sensitive" - not an option, I am a sensitive person.
"is this part of your PTSD?" - because "normal" people can't have grievances or be upset... right
"you're not right, you need to go to a hospital" - really? just... f*ck you.

Honestly, these are all upsetting, uncalled for, and disturbingly abusive sentences that I hear all too frequently by my mom when I am crying, angry, or upset. I am not a violent person AT ALL, but I am sensitive, and when someone wrongs me, I voice my discontent to prevent it happening again. All of these sentences were said to me by only ONE person in my life... my mother. She makes no effort to understand PTSD at all, and just thinks I am crazy. Which hurts me and makes me feel terrible about myself. I usually respond badly to these phrases and either run away, lock myself in a room, or curse you out. Words seem to be my biggest trigger, and now I am developing ones that aren't even related to my trauma, but are related to just HAVING PTSD, feeling ashamed, alone, crazy, and bad about myself because I have this. It sucks. Words hurt.

 

[wife of]

"doesnt he realise hes one of the lucky ones who came back?"

 

[CraftyCath]

I really HATE that one wife of. Honestly, are these people for real? Have they no idea what goes on in a war? Obviously not. I mean, they say these things without thinking because they feel uncomfortable and feel they have to say something. People need to learn to listen.

((((wife of))))

 

[KP the nut]

But you look all right.

Aren't you better yet.

She's milking it for all it is worth.

 

[amethist]

"Is it really that bad"

Hell yea it is, you want to come and stay for a week, while I go away. :roflmao: I would give them 2 hours max, when hubby is rock bottom.

 

[CraftyCath]

'She was in tears, she's falling apart.'

No I'm not, I'm healing and I need to cry in order to heal so F*** Off!!!!

 

[Shattered]

...plod along in life with seemingly no problems and few struggles are wearing rose-tinted glasses...

Where can I pick up a pair of these glasses!!!!