Please Help, Feeling Stuck

[Pipuc]

I've been emotionally shaky for three days now. Started with a fight at home, got triggered, I guess, tried to work it out in therapy, but haven't felt so awful for so long before. It's been three days. I started with feeling unsafe if I didn't have my back to the wall, blanket around me in the closet. Been alternately hyperventilating, shaky, crying, struggling, heart pounding, hot and cold, chest constricted, very anxious, can't stop writing hardly, difficulty concentrating, and difficulty shaking all of these feelings. Therapist says this is just a PTSD reaction, that I was severely triggered. It's hard to believe I could get so upset, and not be feeling more grounded yet, no matter what I do.

I am able to go out, do a little work, take care of the necessities, so on one level I'm functioning but I am so wanting to curl up in a ball and go away, and that feeling is lingering a long long time now.

I have a huge project to do tonight, seems impossible at the moment. Can't decide whether to rest or push through or take a break, hard to settle and concentrate on anything except this feeling.

The main thing seems to be a feeling of fear, hard to shake... is this a legit PTSD reaction? Sometimes I just feel crazy. :(

Any feedback would be appreciated.

 

[Owobe]

My feedback is that I'm really sorry for what you're going through.

You're doing well to be functioning at all, dealing with work and necessities, dealing with anything.

It's maybe too late to comment on your project, and in any case I'm afraid I don't know what would be best. You're caught between a rock and a hard place, trying to decide how to approach it.

So I'm sorry I'm not much help. I think fear is a legit PTSD reaction, for what it's worth. The question is, how do you react to the reaction? This is what it sounds like to me - something happened and you had a reaction to it. You're trying to go In two different directions at once - the "deal with it, get over it" reaction because you need to function and the "allow it, validate it" reaction because you're healing from trauma and this is shining a light on that.

I wish I was some sort of powerful being that could make both these things work at the same time, but I have to admit I'm not. I'm dealing with the same sort of things, and they don't seem to work at the same time even though they are both so important.

I don't have any answers but I don't think you're crazy. Hope you can find a way through this.

 

[Iruv]

I was like that before I ended up taking a month off of work. Some people could do both. I wasn't one of them. I do not think you are crazy. I think it is PTSD related. I really hope the grounding techniques start to work. Take care of yourself as often as you need to and are able to.