Please Help Me I Need Some Advice

[insomnia]

I recently started seeing a therapist ans she wants me to write letters to all the people who have abused me. Every time I attempt to do it my mind goes crazy I have so much rage and feel so much shame that I can't bring myself to do it. My thoughts are everywhere and I can't even focus.

Has anyone ever done this before? If so is there any tips on how to begin to do this? I'm going to see my therapist in a few days so I have to do this exercise soon. I really would appreciate any advise or tips.

The people I need to write to are ;

1. My mother [ she has passed away but I still have nightmare of her beating me and verbally abusing me]
2. the person who molested me
3. a stranger who raped me
4. my ex husband who attacked me

Thanks for helping .

 

[TLight]

This must feel like a huge task and I'm sure your therapist understands that it will bring up a ton of emotions and open you wide up, if your mind is ready.

My advice: if it feels like your mind is not ready to 'go there' it is likely a sign that you may end up re-traumitizing yourself. If you truly feel that you can only do a little bit, do none, or can just ponder it for a bit, then the ball is in your court to be able to slow down.

Do not feel pressured to do things you feel like you aren't capable of doing yet. Healing has to be at your own pace, or else you risk more damage. Take this very seriously.

However, if you are just resisting because of avoidance? Well only you know the answer to that one and if that is the case, you might benefit from pushing yourself a bit.

Good luck and hang in there.

 

[insomnia]

Thanks dear I will take your advice I will try to do it once more and if I can't I'll tell her i need more time.

Best wishes.

 

[gdf]

Its a good idea but maybe you are not ready yet--ink on paper is so permanent. Why don't you try talking them out with a tape recorder as a first step. Or maybe try them one at a time? Would either of those thoughts help?

 

[insomnia]

Dear gdf,

Thanks for replying I think I'm just going to take it slowly so I don't go crazy. It's hard to express my feelings of pain to so many people that hurt me all at once. So I will take your advise and do them one at a time. Thanks for the advise I felt so lost until I got replies
here on some choices I can make. Have a wonderful day.

Love, Insomnia