Please Help Me Im So Scared

[brokenarrow]

Thank you Silver. I hope you are right. I have notice that just being here and talking to you guys has kept me calm the entire time I've been sitting here. I woke up in a pretty large attack and just sitting here talking to you guys has calmed me down quite a bit. I'm one of those people that needs the outside source. The word from a stranger. Because my wife telling me "you don't have appendicitis" to me it almost feels like she is telling it to me because A) she cares about me obviously and doesn't want to see me in pain but also because B) she is trying to basically shut me up and get me over this as quickly as possible. An outside source is much easier to believe for whatever reason.

 

[Silver.]

I think you should at least call around to a few therapists, you can always book the appointment a bit out to give you time to get used to the idea of a therapist.
Also, it might be helpful to have your wife set a password on the wifi. I know it sounds childish, but if we can't control our impulses, it's good to have help controlling them. That way she can log you in when you need to use it and you can use it near her.
Your children and wife need to be your top priority and things don't always get better just because you want them too. She needs help right now, from her husband, so while we can be here for support, we can't heal you
Have you ever tried meditation?
(a lot of people say they can't, because their mind wanders. But there is meditation that allows you to recognize the wandering thoughts and then go back to counting, or whatever it is you focus on while you are meditating). This might help calm you down.

 

[NicG]

That almost sounds like an addiction... "I'll do it just this once and it'll make me feel better. But it hasn't made me feel better so I'll just do a little bit more and that will work..." (Source: I used to do that all the time until I got diagnosed with this chronic pain thing I have)
Everyone has crutches to calm their anxiety. But sometimes that crutch can turn into what's causing your limp, so to speak? It's not your fault at all so don't hear me saying that! But it just sounds like something you need some help to get out of.
I'm glad chatting here is helping you feel calmer. Venting is fabulous. And if it helps at all, if you had appendicitis, there's no chance you'd be able to run laps or do situps ;)

 

[brokenarrow]

Yes I completely agree about a therapist, Silver. I never really thought about the wifi idea. that seems like it could work though. Honestly, I bet I would be feeling alot better right now if I never looked up all the damn symptoms. Every new symptom I came across I instantly had. I feel like I can't talk to my family at all about it. Mainly because I don't talk to most of my family but the very little bit I do talk to just tells me things like "you're fine" or "its ok" and I feel like they are just dismissing me. Maybe the therapist is the exact outside source I need.

NicG, believe it or not, just you saying that DOES in-fact make me feel better. I will take all the reassurance I can get :)
Lately my new thing is I read that the pain will wake you up in the middle of the night. So my new thing is I am terrified to go to sleep. If I do sleep it is for an hour or so in my chair or on the floor in my living room. Last night I slept from 1:20am till 2 am and woke up with chills and had a panic attack until about 5:30 am and then fell back asleep from 6am until about 7:30 am and then woke up with another case of the chills and freaked out for about an hour or so and then found this site. Sitting here talking to you guys is the most calm I've been in days.

 

[Casey_03]

Severe anxiety can cause you to have very real physical symptoms. So if you are working yourself up, that could just be making the pain worse. I agree that it's definitely not appendicitis. Maybe an ulcer? Which could also be getting worse the more anxiety and stress you have.

 

[brokenarrow]

I have tried meditation but I can't seem to calm myself down enough to get there. If my mind wanders it's never a good thing. I see a lot of places saying to just let it go and let yourself go and let the attack come and just meditate through it. I just don't know if I'm at that level yet.

 

[brokenarrow]

Hi Casey. Yes I'm pretty sure 99 percent of my problem is mental. The problem is it feels so real when it is happening. I was wondering about an ulcer also. I was also wondering about ibs

 

[Casey_03]

I'm pretty sure anxiety can cause ibs as well as ulcers, so you might actually have that. I don't know how long the anxiety has been affecting you, but have you thought about/tried medication? I'm not a big fan of antidepressants, but the anxiety you describe does sound like exactly what anti-anxiety meds are made for. Maybe not as a permanent solution, but perhaps a temporary fix to get you through the grieving after your father's death? Grief can manifest itself in really strange ways, and it kinda sounds like for you it's just causing a massive spike in anxiety. Might be worth looking into medication. I suppose other members on this board might have more to say about anti-anxiety meds. i've really only dabbled in anti-depressants myself, nothing targeted specifically at severe anxiety.

 

[brokenarrow]

I took meds a long time ago for social anxiety but that was many many years ago. Probably about 15. I just have the fear of being a zombie by getting all doped up. I have to do something about my anxiety because I can't spend much more time freaking out about appendicitis. It's gonna make me lose my mind.

 

[anonymous]

It is okay that you might not have PTSD, this is a support forum and you are suffering, that is evident.

I'm pretty sure this is a PTSD support forum. Not a feel better forum.

 

[hodge]

Anonymous, um, yeah, this is a PTSD forum. But why can't we give support to someone who is obviously suffering? Albeit not from PTSD, but panic attacks, which I think we can all relate to. This person found us, and I for one am glad he did for his sake. Casey's done a great job of helping him, thus I haven't felt the need to, otherwise I would have tried, too. Can't we be more generous with people who have found us? Those without PTSD generally don't stick around anyway, but if they need a helping hand in the meantime, what do we have to lose by offering that?

 

[brokenarrow]

I'm sorry if I offended anyone by... being here,I guess. As someone suffering from anxiety and depression I really don't think someone with PTSD is feeling a world different then I am. I'm just looking for a community of people that can help me and I can help them. So far I have felt the most at home here because everyone ( well almost) has been great to me and responded super fast. I don't know why you feel the need to basically bully me off this page just because me and you aren't suffering from the exact same thing. We are both still suffering and I would gladly help you.