Please Help Me Process This Horrible Situation

[TLight]

Boy, I don't know. For me, I'd have all of my trust issues up in the air at this point.

I think the 'get your own life' comment can be taken in both ways..........sort of depends upon his tone when he said it right?

I'd probably be having the same reaction you are.......emotions, any emotions raise fear in me which leads to anger then the self harm stuff.

I learned last week that whenever anything that makes my mind come to doubt that someone really cares about me comes up.........I immediately go to past pain and become overwhelmed.

I know I need to 'get a life'........but trusting people and making friends is something I really have to take my time with. So laying low right now is acceptable. I'll kick my ass someday.

I'd be mad too. But I think the key is for people like you and me is before we DO anything, we have to get control of ourselves. Doing anything in times of high emotion is not advised for anyone, let alone us.

Calm, collect, try to approach in an unattacking manner and if it turns out he really was having too fun a time to return your calls.........well, I think that's pretty insensitive and I wonder how he'd feel if you did that to him in such a situation.

Keep us posted.

 

[macpayne]

Shiraz, So sorry your going through this. What an A$$! Your partner needs to step to the plate, apologize for not calling and beg your forgiveness. End of story! Sheesh! I have never and wouldn't expect anything less.
Best wishes girl!!

 

[shiraz]

Well, McPayne wins the prize for best outcome :)

He did indeed step up and - admit some stuff he had been too embarrassed to face up to and the "get your own life" comment was meant as this is over ... which he said was a defense as he couldn"t face me with the truth, it would be easier to walk away ... sheesh!

OK, so we all have our hangups and he faced up to his :clap: it was really huge for him to admit all this and he is so sorry for his actions (nothing so bad in my books that it can"t be forgiven on the spot - just some triggers from his past around things).

Second prize to Tlight - the calm and less emotional on my part was a winner and thanks to a2a3 - yes he was completely exhausted and taken aback - I will be more aware next time

Finally -he admits to having a crap weekend as all my concerned texting and voice mails left him feeling like an A$$.

All made up now and moving on and a GREAT BIG THANK YOU for walking the last few days with me to you all ... it helped me feel less alone and the perspectives gained were invaluable.

I love this place!

 

[Ursa]

I didn't know this was a contest. :crazy:

 

[shiraz]

aaww Ursa, just keep a sense of humor in a terribly destructive situation.
(hugs)

 

[Pam]

May I be blunt? Dump him on his ass. Any man that puts a ring on my right finger and says that is a prelude to something else will likely put the next ring on my pinky. And maybe the next one on my big toe, and possibly a very special "meaningful" ring for my nose. I don't even want to speak to his not calling. I tell you what, you can tell him that there is a 4'10" Irish mad female that is ready to give him a can of WHUP ASS while you hold the pig down!

 

[shiraz]

Hi Pam,

... said individual has stepped up, asked forgiveness for unforgivable action and redeemed himself entirely.

Thank you for the offer of "WHUP ASS" ... it may still come in useful in the future (if the offer is still open at such time).

Take Care,
Shiraz

 

[shiraz]

oops! ... that should have been *keeping* a sense of humor ......

 

[Pam]

Dear "my favorite kind of wine",

I just canned up a batch of spicy hot sweet tomato jam and cooked a batch of sweet hot mustard. I will can up a batch of whup ass just in case you need it later.

Pam

 

[2quilt]

Pass me a can of that WhupAss too, Pam. I sure hope that "said Individual" has sincerely asked for forgiveness, because I would have left him the minute he said to get my own life. If my man doesn't call me when I need him, I sure as hell don't need him.
If he pulls that sh*t again, his arse is out.