Please help me process - BFF with PTSD is starting meds

[Dynamic]

Hello asking for conversation and ideas on how to prepare for my bff going on medication.

unfortunately been a lot of push and pull through isolation (bff has ptsd)

Prior to seeing the drs:

Example: need space, need help, expecting space, getting hit up for help. Think: what can I actually do here?

Maybe im afraid they will go on medicine and friend dump me. Idk I just wanna be supportive.

I’ve already lovingly told them the push and pull is confusing and causes stress (more importantly concern for their safety with the unexpected isolations or whatever it’s called)
As well as suicidal ideation.
I figured just letting them know is enough

I don’t feel I NEEd to do anything but I don’t wanna make things worse and ill see them this weekend

 

[Friday]

Cha. The supporter side of the equation is brutal. Especially if you have issues with helplessness or powerlessness, or being misunderstood/accused of thoughts/feelings/motives that are. not. yours., or inconsistency/rejection.

Adding meds to the mix? Heightens that entire equation. And adds all new facets.

Boundaries of TUNGSTEN, Olympic level self confidence (this does NOT mean perfect, it means training-training-training, through pain and failure, without losing your determination) , and support for yourself are pretty durn crucial. Esp with a highly reactive stress meter your own self.

 

[Dynamic]

Thank you @Friday

 

[Dynamic]

Okay now they are switching meds and shared an SI thought with me. It’s so different when it’s in person. They have a lot of other support. I just feel crushed they are so crushed :(

 

[Dynamic]

Oh gosh. I’m overwhelmed they are opening up.

 

[Friday]

Other people’s emotions are often difficult… to flat out impossible to handle… with PTSD.

STRESS CUP.

Double down on EVERYTHING (stress management, self care, boundaries, not taking shit personally, etc.) if someone you care about is having a hard time. Expect for there still to be fallout, even if entirely worth it.

 

[Dynamic]

I just had my phone off and took a shower. This thread helps

I need to also remember people need to do for themselves

 

[Dynamic]

:( my gf and I call it "bulldozing" idk what it would be called. probably pushing people away.

she admitted to pushing people away but keeps reaching out to me with texts with what's bothering her. or what she needs. so I try to help and then get no response. so I sent a boundary text for me.
bc its affecting my health to wonder if shes dead or not

 

[Ecdysis]

It can be so hard, when friends are going through crises.

About 10 years ago, my best friend at the time was going through a crisis/ mental breakdown.

I ended up letting her live with me, but it was awful.

She took it all out on me. I asked her why, since her issues were due to childhood trauma, mainly caused by her mother. And certainly not caused by me.

Her reply was basically "I'm scared of my mother, but I'm not scared of you, so taking it out on you is easier and I don't want to do therapy because I'm scared of therapy too."

In the end, I asked her to leave and I ended the friendship.

We'd been best friends since we were 14.

She got in touch a couple of years ago, to see if we wanted to be friends again but I told her no thanks.

I don't even know if I'm sad about the loss of that friendship. I was mainly angry. I think that blocked any sadness out.

 

[Dynamic]

Okay thank you @Ecdysis that helped me

 

[Friday]

:( my gf and I call it "bulldozing" idk what it would be called. probably pushing people away.

I call it burning bridges.

I HATE that I do it… but? I do still do it.

 

[Dynamic]

Vent Because it helps me to keep problems separated and my diary is too much right now

take your medicine
Stop relying on people that keep letting you down and you know won’t be there for you?
What.

That’s what’s wrong with you