General Please Pray

[Nighthawk]

I hope he stays and I have you in my thoughts.

(((LAA)))

 

[LAA]

Thank you so much everyone; so far he is still there. :tup:

 

[amethist]

He will stay the distance LAA.

They wont just let him walk out without talking it through with him first, then he will see the good reasons for not running.

 

[Kim]

I'm thinking of you both.

 

[LAA]

Thanks so much for the prayers and thoughts...here it is another saturday and he is still there. He has actually had a great week and they are amazed at how far he has come. He says it is because he wants to get better and is working hard.

I am getting nervous about my time there now. I go the 21 through the 25 of August. I just worked on all the paperwork they wanted me to do. It asked a lot of questions about D's behaviors, has he threatened/ abused / hit...what family members have been through...just so much stuff that I hate to have to think about again. Most of it I have never told anyone about. D seems to have forgotten (blanked out) some of our worst episodes. That has always led me to suspect med problems. The two worse times we ever had coincided with some med changes with Serequel, Xanax and Risperidone.

I really dread having to address what is going on in my head in a group setting. I just went to my first ever individual counseling session and that was awkward enough! Not that he isn't good. He was in the national prison system before private practice and had just been to a PTSD seminar the week prior so I know he will understand the life D led and I still am, career wise.

I wrote about the things they asked about, I just pray nothing causes D to go backwards at all. There are reasons I never really shared the things he said and did during those episodes. I believe in doing no harm...If he doesn't remember what he has done or said is it really good to bring it up? I guess I just have to trust to their judgement as his doctors.

Going to see him tomorrow again (Yeah for Sundays). He sounds so much like the man I married again! I really miss him. Just need to get over this fear of it happening all over again at some point.

LAA

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear LAA, my prayers are with you (all).

I think if there has been improvement- and that's wonderful!!! :)- then trust that unless otherwise you can just be happy (about it).
-Trust is so hard-

xoxoxox, ((((((LAA :inlove:)))))

 

[LAA]

Thank you Junebug...I am learning to take it all moment by moment.

LAA

 

[LAA]

Hi all,

Well, this is my week to be here in treatment too for Family Week. I have been fearful and dreading it but trying to not be that way. Now that I am here, I am doing ok. So many of us going through the same things. This definitely isn't easy, but I know it will be good.

Thanks to this forum and reading some suggested books (and just living it at home and work for so long) I am not actually hearing much new but the reminders are good and the better explanation of the "disease" reasoning behind even trauma. I have heard alcoholism and drug abuse called a disease and I really was never comfortable about that. It seemed like a convenient "out" should one want to avail oneself of it.

I understand now the changes that occur in the brain with any sort of substitutive behavior, whether it's drugs or sex or isolation. That has helped.

Please pray for tomorrow. We have to confront our "patient" with five things. Very structured, "When you ______...on this occasion, I felt_____." I am a bit freaked by this....Wed he does the same thing for me (he has already prepared his stuff over the time hes been there, so it won't be a retaliatory kind of thing. The whole place is a lot more emotion than I am comfortable with....people crying (and they have reason to, don't get me wrong) I'm just a bit overwhelmed I guess.

I think it is going well though....I survived the first day andI haven't run off yet so that's good!:O_o:

I found a yoga studio here and I AM GOING tonight....I need the stress release!

LAA

 

[LAA]

Well, I don't know how I did that but it posted twice, sorry.

LAA

 

[ISupportHer]

I hope it goes well. I know that, for me anyway, I try to think ahead. So, I end up with the walking on eggshells thing. But this is definitely a good thing to do. Perhaps using positive examples, not only negative. Balance it out maybe.

ISH

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Good for you with the self-care...doing yoga!
To me, just being willing to 'go the distance' with your husband is awesome!! I know from experience that marriages and hearts CAN be healed! You will both be stronger people having survived through the hell and high-water' of life!!

Keeping you in my prayers!!

 

[The Albatross]

Hope it went well for you LAA... (better late than never?)