Poor Little Rich Girl.

[Rhyelle]

There are so many 'little' things that trigger anxiety, depression, and because of the first two, sometimes anger, in me. So many people seem to think that I just 'poor me' all the time. When I express the little snippets that I feel aren't SO bad they can't be shared, even those get flung back at me a lot. They have no idea how much I hold inside for every little droplet I let trickle out.

One thing that really irks me is that I think a lot of people I've met and later told about my family-of-origin abuse seem to think of me as 'that poor little rich b*tch'. I'm certainly not rich any more! My father had money and I grew up hearing from my mother that 'everyone experiences some abuse' and 'at least he's not sexually abusive'. No amount of money was worth what he's put me through - and I certainly don't have any of that money of his now, when I can't work or take care of myself as an adult. My father used to 'apologize' with gifts. I learned early on not to question them or look for a real apology - else thing would be worse than the first time around on whatever the current 'subject' was. His apologies were all intended to be yet another payment to his family to shut up and take it.

Thanks for listening. I'm all fired up because someone slapped me in the face on FB about one of my shares about my feelings. I just needed to vent where I felt safe to.

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[Meadowsweet]

Abuse is abuse, however well off a family appears.

I went through a stage where I would say little things because to say what was really inside was too difficult.
But the problem with saying little snippets, is that all but the very intuitive, will not be able to misunderstand you. So maybe it would be easier on you, not to use facebook for that kind of sharing.

I hope you find an outlet that will be more positive for you.