Evangeline80
New Here
Hi,
I am new to the forum, have been a member for almost a month now and I decided to share my story and also ask if anyone can or will tap in on it and maybe clear a few things up for me. I am of Dutch origin, so I hope everything will be readable. It has become a rather long piece but I couldn't be more to the point with my rambling mind.
Firstly, I have learned a lot from reading this forum about PTSD that I've never known, so thank you!
I have been casually dating a veteran (Afghanistan, two long and two short missions) with PTSD. Met him online on a pretty serious datingsite and from the beginning it hasn't been clear what it was that we were doing. I call it friends with benefits because I somehow have trouble naming it anything else, because of my own fears for a serious relationship with someone who is in such a difficult fase and this man is very clear that the real PTSD stuff is something he wants to deal with on his own, which I admire.
But lately things are shifting around and for the first time I experience the things people on here experience as carers when in a relationship. We have been seeing each other much more and have taking things more "outside". I was always the one visiting him and spending the weekend or maybe a weekday when off from work and now he is visiting me too and picking me up and I met his dad, who is of great importance to him.
The problem is that we both have a very indirect way of communicating. It has all been spontaneous, even we we see each other often. Now things are changing and I am getting a bit insecure and nervous about it. Because although feelings are growing and he has shared with me that he feels the same I don't know if I "cán".. When we met he was at the verge of the diagnosis and spent two weeks being examined in a military hospital. I have seen him go trough the whole process and he was never in denial about his situation. So I know a lot and I know what it is that I have to face.
Except, after a pretty good period he is now in some sort of remission (sorry if I use the wrong word) and experiencing that has made my doubts grow. Will or can I keep good faith and be strong on my own to a certain extent? He is very dear to me now but I keep asking myself this. Our communication style, almost understanding each other without words, does not help this situation. I am at a loss how I can bring this to his mind and talk about it, especially when he is having such a hard time dealing right now. I don't want him to feel left alone.
I hope there's someone that has a suggestion or some help with my own thinking patterns. Like so many of you my life hasn't been peachy before and I've come a long way myself to be who I am right now. I hope I am able to be a strong partner.
I am new to the forum, have been a member for almost a month now and I decided to share my story and also ask if anyone can or will tap in on it and maybe clear a few things up for me. I am of Dutch origin, so I hope everything will be readable. It has become a rather long piece but I couldn't be more to the point with my rambling mind.
Firstly, I have learned a lot from reading this forum about PTSD that I've never known, so thank you!
I have been casually dating a veteran (Afghanistan, two long and two short missions) with PTSD. Met him online on a pretty serious datingsite and from the beginning it hasn't been clear what it was that we were doing. I call it friends with benefits because I somehow have trouble naming it anything else, because of my own fears for a serious relationship with someone who is in such a difficult fase and this man is very clear that the real PTSD stuff is something he wants to deal with on his own, which I admire.
But lately things are shifting around and for the first time I experience the things people on here experience as carers when in a relationship. We have been seeing each other much more and have taking things more "outside". I was always the one visiting him and spending the weekend or maybe a weekday when off from work and now he is visiting me too and picking me up and I met his dad, who is of great importance to him.
The problem is that we both have a very indirect way of communicating. It has all been spontaneous, even we we see each other often. Now things are changing and I am getting a bit insecure and nervous about it. Because although feelings are growing and he has shared with me that he feels the same I don't know if I "cán".. When we met he was at the verge of the diagnosis and spent two weeks being examined in a military hospital. I have seen him go trough the whole process and he was never in denial about his situation. So I know a lot and I know what it is that I have to face.
Except, after a pretty good period he is now in some sort of remission (sorry if I use the wrong word) and experiencing that has made my doubts grow. Will or can I keep good faith and be strong on my own to a certain extent? He is very dear to me now but I keep asking myself this. Our communication style, almost understanding each other without words, does not help this situation. I am at a loss how I can bring this to his mind and talk about it, especially when he is having such a hard time dealing right now. I don't want him to feel left alone.
I hope there's someone that has a suggestion or some help with my own thinking patterns. Like so many of you my life hasn't been peachy before and I've come a long way myself to be who I am right now. I hope I am able to be a strong partner.
