Pretending To Be Ok

[Chem Lady]

I started pretending as a teenager when I came to understand that "I'm fine" was the only acceptable response in my household. I was emotionally punished with silent treatments, etc. if I appeared to not be fine. I could never fake it through migraines. I learned faking wellness so well that no one ever knows when I'm doing poorly. I once had pneumonia and all my friends and professors said I "looked fine", and because I doubted myself I went to classes all throughout. That's ridiculous.
I'm trying to learn to express myself better and be more ok telling people close to me how I'm actually doing.

 

[Whyteferret]

I do it all the time. Acting strong makes me feel safer. I don't want people to see me as week or see my pain.

Yet, part of me wants people to understand what this is like. How hard it is to live.

[GALLERY=media, 3196]Sometimes by Whyteferret posted May 24, 2016 at 7:57 PM[/GALLERY]

 

[Crow]

I stopped pretending last year and all my friends dropped away. I wasn't forever complaining but if they ask I tell the truth. Yep. Noone left.

Gotta say the energy freed up from not pretending anymore has changed my life for the better. The Soul loves the truth and I finally started telling myself the truth. Life is becoming good.

 

[Changing4Best]

I learned how to fake it at such a young age that I cannot recall, other than to say that my abuser forced me to smile at his customers that basically were making me into a whore at the age of three. So I would smile at all men, including my Dr. He would always marvel at how I smiled at him. I was probably the only kid that did so! He would always commend me for smiling at him and he would say things like, There is that sweet smile of yours, or how nice that you smile" or words to that effect.

These days I rarely smile, as I am in pain a lot of the time with various illnesses and medical conditions. I gues some time along the way I unlearned to fake it. Thankfully!

 

[mary1979]

Yep. One the first things I learned about basic survival.
DO NOT SHOW YOUR REAL FEELINGS.
By 7 I could switch my moods on or off light a light switch.
By 10 I knew how to fake tears like an actress.
By 14 id switched the tears off for good.

I've pretended for so long now that most the time I dont even know what the heck I AM feeling or thinking.
My husband would always challenge me 'ok. What's this really all about?' When id melt down.
I'd profusely defend my reasons, convinced that I was telling him the problem.

Hours later the real problem would suddenly dawn on me seemingly out of nowhere.

I'm so good at this I even have myself fooled that I'm ok lol

 

[Ronin]

I have a type of pretending that's denial, and a type of pretending that's strength, attempt at dragging it into the present moment, pronto.

Acting a different way even when I don't feel it, so I start feeling it.
Trying to use the latte more than the former. Denial destroys my sanity, pretend with goals just obscures it until I move to a better place.

 

[The Albatross]

I got no problem "acting as if"... in difficult times it makes me more than the sum of my parts. It is though no longer defensive nor was kept due to my abuse, it is my choice... cuz I find I can psyche and test and challenge myself and get advancements.

 

[oasis2003]

Yes I pretend to be ok when I am not ok . I have done it all my life masking emotions feelings my true self just for an easier time, make myself invisible so that I donot get any grief .

 

[Gadgie]

I suppose I'm lucky in a way, as I don't have to pretend to be OK to anyone, now that I'm on my own.

I think that's the first time I've ever had anything positive to say about being alone?

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I think I am in denial - mentally. Unfortunately I now cannot pretend I'm okay physically.

 

[Broken Dahlia]

I think I am in denial - mentally. Unfortunately I now cannot pretend I'm okay physically.

Sorry you are having a hard time, Cj77, hope things get better.

 

[Ronin]

Thinking of you, @Cj77.

Hope you can find relief for the physical, thinking emotionality & mentality can get better on their own when having some grounds firm & needs & health taken care of.