Pretending To Be Ok

[Whyteferret]

I wondered if others do this. Pretend to be ok when you're actually not, at all? I've done it all my life (...

Definitely. I've held the mask in place so well that a VA psychologist doing a compensation exam thought my depression was "mild" at the time. It wasn't. But, I don't feel safe ever showing my "weakness,p" to anyone. Even with the brain injury, I still pull off normal well. My spoken communication is a problem. I rarely speak beyond a few sentences to people. Those are slow and deliberate and tend to be about basic things or something I know very well.
Its all about trying to look normal to be safe

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes @Whyteferret I think so, exactly.

:hug:

 

[Gadgie]

When I have them painful days, I can't even convince myself that I'm OK, as any moment I make reminds me that I'm having a painful day?

I think that's why I tend to over do things when I'm not in pain, daft I know, but then I know I'm not normal. Lol

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Thanks @Cashew :hug:

 

[Ellabella44]

i'm tired of hiding. If you cant take me as I am, then you really dont belong around me.

I had a friend when everything was coming back and I dropped the act and let her see how I really was. The dissociating, drinking etc, and i was dissociating and drinking heavily every day at that time. I have not seen or heard from her since she said to me "what happened to you". And if seen by her family im avoided like they have never met me.

My sister in law said to me that I dont fake it well enough for anyone who truly cares about me to know everything is fine. that was also back when I was still drinking. The past few months, I have openly posted that I have ptsd and about my sobriety anniversaries and immediate family and some friends I have online have been supportive.

 

[Sunrise64]

I can be pretty good at pretending I'm okay for up to an hour or two if I have to, but it takes a lot...

True