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Psychoanalysis

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I'm completing a psychoanalytic training program right now. There are lots of good things that can happen as people rebuild a self through the process, but you need an analyst that has training and experience in trauma and modern psychoanalytic theory that integrates current understanding in neurobiology. Not all analysts can or are willing to do this. Some stick strictly to the old ways, and that can be bad for a person with trauma who needs help with containment and learning to self-regulate. Another option instead of analysis is to find a therapist who uses psychodynamic theory and has experience doing long-term therapy with truamatized clients.
 
I started seeing a psychodynamic T.
Been to 4 sessions so far. I thought in analysis , its mostly patient talking and T listening. So i decided against it. Even in psychodynamic therapy that i m in, at times my T goes silent and keeps staring at me. Literally looking into my eyes. N i m like hmmm. I feel pressured. I m done talking on topic X, either u give me feedback or guide me else where. He does not. Then i elaborate on topic X , complete B.S. repeating what i had said earlier in different words just to fill up the space.
Maybe i m not cut out for this .
 
Worst "therapy" experience I've ever had. He sat and said nothing the entire session and just stared at me. Usually didn't even say hello. He also had two clocks on opposite sides of the room that ticked out-of-synch. Oh good grief. Drove me nuts.

I was mostly non-verbal anyway, so this was a very bad therapy situation for me. I came to see it as abusive; he insisted I see him at least 2x a week, preferably 3. I was seeing him at the demand of my employer and he had the power to say it was ok (or not) to go back, so I felt like he was abusing that power. 3x a week is not going to help if nobody is talking.
 
Worst "therapy" experience I've ever had. He sat and said nothing the entire session and just stared at me. Usually didn't even say hello. He also had two clocks on opposite sides of the room that ticked out-of-synch. Oh good grief. Drove me nuts.

I was mostly non-verbal anyway, so this was a very bad therapy situation for me. I came to see it as abusive; he insisted I see him at least 2x a week, preferably 3. I was seeing him at the demand of my employer and he had the power to say it was ok (or not) to go back, so I felt like he was abusing that power. 3x a week is not going to help if nobody is talking.

UGH! I would totally freak out. My first therapist insisted that I set the agenda so she sat there quietly after saying "what do we need to work on?" and I would freeze. Its not that I didn't want to spew out what I needed to work on, but I didn't know how and I was afraid. I was too scared to even say "I'm afraid" and that set forth with a year or so of bad therapy then I quit. I grew up some and went back to the same person when I had more to say. There were still times of quietness where I tried to fill in the blanks with blabbing to which she would redirect the conversation back to why I was in therapy. It was painfully hard. The person I am with now doesn't hold me to that standard realizing that I am still learning how to ask for help. She likens it to being in grade school, then you go to middle, then high school, then college. I am probably in middle school now and have a lot to work on and am getting better but I am grateful she can carry the conversation at least some, or I would quit.
 
After reading everyone's responses, I'm no longer sure that my therapist is pure psychoanalysis but I'm sure he mentioned he had been trained in such at some point.

Silences are brutal, but I think it really depends on the relationship you have with the therapist and with yourself - I sometimes just admit that I was going somewhere and then I lost the thought and then he tries to guide me to any sort of coherence. But that's only when you admit that you're at a loss for words - if I don't say this, he will sit in silence until I do say something. I think maybe once or twice he broke the silence by pointing out that I stopped sharing my thoughts with him.

Sometimes it's fruitful and sometimes it's just small talk and more trivial conversation (think academic stress vs. opening up about csa) but when it's good it's REALLY GOOD and at worst (for me) I leave with the thought that it wasn't very useful that day and make sure to try and brainstorm things to talk to him about the next session.

tbh any therapy is trying on 700 pairs of shoes until something fits - i was just lucky on my third try that my current therapist and I were able to create such good rapport.
 
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