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Psychosis, Multiple Personalities, Or Dissociation?

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Zoogal said:
Nimali is the scene that you described is that what actually happened to you?
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The scene where I explain how the world seems when I am derealized? Or the intrusive thoughts? Some of them I am sure they did not happen. (though sometimes during a bad episode, I can't remember that.) but others are so random that my therapist thinks they may be memories.

(ex: For a while I'd get this constant scene/image where I saw a blue minivan like car swerve and about to crash. The image was as crystal clear as the others, but for some reason when I saw a car that looked exactly like it in the real world, the image is now blurry and hard to recall. And that image would play over and over for hours on end for almost a week until I finally saw a real car looking like it.. then it disappeared or faded. I can't even recall what it looked like other than that it was blue.)
 
Nimali said:
The scene where I explain how the world seems when I am derealized? Or the intrusive thoughts? Some of t...
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The one about the building. The "memories" I get are very random but they are not vivid enough to take me that far out of reality nor am I the perpetrator. But not everybody does things the same.
 
Zoogal said:
The one about the building. The "memories" I get are very random but they are not vivid enough to take m...
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The one about the car, no I did not think I was the cause of it. I was just watching it happen but I didn't actually see it crash, it shuts off milliseconds before, but I could hear the car swerve and crash just as the image shuts off.
 
Nimali said:
Before I know it I am hearing and seeing morbid scenery whether it be a building burning and people screaming out in pain, crying, reaching out toward me, etc. I'll see that my classmates are dead and I'm holding an axe. I'll have blood on me and people will ask me why I did it or to stop.
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This is what's confusing me
 
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@Nimali, thanks for sharing so much of your situation. Someone is going to find this and feel less alone, I'm sure.

There are a few diagnoses that you've not mentioned yet - and they require significant physical testing to rule out all possible alternative causes of what might be psychosis, or might be delirium. Different things.

Either way, you'll need to be working with a psychiatrist, for the right kind of MD experience and for ordering tests. Do you have one currently?

If you are near any major psychiatric care center, consider going there to do a diagnostic process. MacLean in Massachusetts does a 2-week diagnostic that is very thorough and is kind of tailor made for situations like yours.

It's a 50-50 chance that there's a underlying physical problem. You'll want to get that ruled out, because no amount of psych treatment will help you manage the delerium (which is what it is when it's not rooted in the mind).

Once that's done, if you are experiencing psychosis, they need to exclude DID.

And then they will start sorting out whether it's trauma based, a mood disorder, or something on the bipolar or schizophrenia spectrums.

Having a diagnostic team you can trust will go a long way for you.

You're remarkably articulate about your symptoms - which is going to be super helpful.
 
Zoogal said:
This is what's confusing me
Click to expand...

I don't think I've ever seen a burning building, but I'll see a short clip in my head. It's hard to distinguish which is just a strong head in my head that I'm not actually seeing in front of me, but it still feels like the image covers my vision almost.. It's hard to explain.
 
joeylittle said:
@Nimali, thanks for sharing so much of your situation. Someone is going to find...
Click to expand...

I am currently with a therapist and I was with a psychiatrist for a while but I had to leave because I could not afford it. I was diagnosed PTSD and OCD. From what I explained, the tester also said I was dissociating, but he was so quick to say that, that I'm really not sure to be honest.. I think I do dissociate, but I think it's part of my PTSD or something. (like a lesser version.) When I dissociate, my face almost goes blank/expressionless and things will appear slow motion or I'll feel like I'm moving in slow motion.

My therapist suggested I get tested for psychosis and I will be getting tested for it soon. I don't know if I'll be able to afford a physical... or any of the other tests.. do you have an estimate of how much that will all cost?

[Side Note]: I do have physical pain, but I don't think it's related to this... It's knee and back pain. (Knee pain I tried physical therapy but hasn't helped yet.)
 
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