I had a bit of a rough growing up. No father, mother with mental issues and a physically violent family.
For 3-5 years I was also bullied, confronted with weapons, chased around the neighbourhood, blamed for things I didnt do to authorities. Worst of all these people were my friends for a couple years. I didnt have anyone to turn to in my family and every day leaving home was frightning. Every day at home was frightning. This all occured way back late 70s etc.
I then started hanging out drinking in my 20s and with a rough crowd. I had one friend do really wrong by me and my other friends and totally broke the back bone of trust I had left.
Followed by mayhem with the wrong relationships, one of which would ring me in the middle of the night to threaten me. Yay ! ;-p
Anyway, some how I managed to hold it all together and had a career, but sadly thats ended as for the last few years Ive suffered major panic disorder, feelings of intense hyper vigilance and general mistrust and deep depression. Along with flash back in my dreams of my growing up.
Im not sure if its even possible to get passed all this because I now live close to where all this occured and it makes it even harder to want to get a job, irrational hyper vigilance takes over, what if one of the bullies works there etc.
Help.
For 3-5 years I was also bullied, confronted with weapons, chased around the neighbourhood, blamed for things I didnt do to authorities. Worst of all these people were my friends for a couple years. I didnt have anyone to turn to in my family and every day leaving home was frightning. Every day at home was frightning. This all occured way back late 70s etc.
I then started hanging out drinking in my 20s and with a rough crowd. I had one friend do really wrong by me and my other friends and totally broke the back bone of trust I had left.
Followed by mayhem with the wrong relationships, one of which would ring me in the middle of the night to threaten me. Yay ! ;-p
Anyway, some how I managed to hold it all together and had a career, but sadly thats ended as for the last few years Ive suffered major panic disorder, feelings of intense hyper vigilance and general mistrust and deep depression. Along with flash back in my dreams of my growing up.
Im not sure if its even possible to get passed all this because I now live close to where all this occured and it makes it even harder to want to get a job, irrational hyper vigilance takes over, what if one of the bullies works there etc.
Help.
