General Ptsd And Bringing Up Kids.....?

[Sunshine71]

I wondered how fellow parents deal with kids and their PTSD sufferer?

Our son is 6 and like other boys of his age is throwing tantrums - these are too stressful for hubby and he ends up flying off the handle and even saying things that I feel are wrong.

I am going to speak with hubby and work out the best way forward - but it is difficult. I wondered how fellow parents deal with PTSD and bringing up their kids....

OMG Its 1am - I must logg off!

My last posting for tonight...!

MANY thanks amazing people

Sunshine x

 

[Toria]

Is there any way that Husband could simply leave the room? I know it's not ideal, but a temporarily absent father - in my opinion - would be better than an angry ranting one. Strangely, I would say that goes for Husbands too, not just Fathers... ;)

I know that isn't fair on you and leaves you to deal with your son - but tantrums don't last forever and soon you'll be able to reason with your son and maybe explain that he needs to be quieter around his Daddy.

Hope that helps x

 

[Meadowsweet]

I wonder if this really is a ptsd issue?

In my experience (and I'm sure there are many exceptions) but men do tend to find screaming children more stressful.

But, if he's not experiencing uncontrollable symptoms such as dissociation or flashback triggered by these tantrums then he is able to make changes.

But, I think as a couple you need to decide how best to manage your sons behaviour and agree on what you both believe. Tantrums are poor behaviour, and age six is an age where your son needs to be finding ways to manage his anger more appropriately.

I don't think it is helpful to try and get him to understand that he should stop tantrums because his father can't cope. He should stop tantrums because all children should stop tantrums as part of training to be an adult.

I ofcourse don't know your circumstances and I'm not making a judgement, but one way ptsd might effect your son is the way he sees grown ups deal with their emotions. I don't know what help you have as a family, but maybe there is additional support you could get for him, if you felt it necessary.

As I say, I don't know your circumstances, so don't wish to sound preachy.

 

[agent_lch]

I know how you feel. My current "ex" is the same way with this 2 girls and I fear he will be the same way with the child that we currently have on the way. He gets so upset at them over nothing.

One day his youngest daughter was having issues with her pieced ear. She had already taken one out and the other was clamped too tightly and hurting her. He had her in his lap and she was crying because she didn't want him to touch it. He was trying to get a hold of it and loosen it cause it was hurting her but she didn't want to take it out ( typical child ). She started crying more and more and he grew so impatient he just screamed at her at the top of his lungs and penned her down and got a hold of the ear ring and got it out and threw it across the room. I was so stunned I just sat there in amazement.

Before he had his outburst I was gonna suggest he let me try to get her ear ring out.

He frequently gets impatient with them but that was the only time I seen him really cross a line that i felt was wrong.

I have noticed his oldest daughter really seems to be growing more and more distant from him. I think were she is a little older she is starting to really pick up on his moods and how he likes to keep his distance. I feel so sorry for this kids sometimes and I feel even more sorry for him because I know how much he cares about those 2 girls. He is aware that he can not keep his patience with them. I think that is why he chooses to be distant from them from time to time.

I just pray that they did not choose to stop coming around him as they get older. I know that would absolutely kill his soul.