Ptsd And Childbirth

[SteveH]

Hi, my fiance has PTSD and will be giving birth in October. She hasnt had a major episode since January but I am worried the adrenaline of childbirth will bring one on and make an already difficult situation much worse, and spoil something that I know she wants to be beutiful

I would like to speak to her about how we should manage this if it happens, but I am also worried if I talk to her about this then she will become anxious about it happening and fixate on it. It might not have crossed her mind and last thing I want is to create a self fulfilling prophecy and actually cause it to happen.

Not really sure what to do, advice please.

 

[Friday]

Childbirth is blood and pain, nothing beautiful about it IMO, even though -yah- I sure wanted it to be while I was pregnant! What we want, and what we get, are often different things. To each their own, though! And I hope her experience is everything she wants it to be. As well as successful, easy, & uncomplicated :)

That said, would it be possible to include PTSD planning as part of your birthplan & early days plan? That way it's just one more very practical component stacked alongside a whole bunch of other practical components? New babies are massive stress, even under the best of conditions, so you're both probably already planning on how to help mitigate some of those issues, yes? Kicking into an episode during the brith would be the same issues in play if she kicks into an episode due to stress / sleep deprivation / PPD a few days after the birth, right? So if you're planning how to deal with those, you'd already have a gameplan in place, no matter when (if) it happens.

 

[heyheyhey]

Hi Steve! Sorry to hear about your worries, I really hope that your wife will be okay :). I am not very knowledgeable about childbirth (I've never done it lol), other people should be able to give you a better answer, but I would recommend making sure you both take measures to help manage her stress in the upcoming months. A really brilliant way to do this, is with regular massage therapy - there are many benefits to having regular massages for people with PTSD (and it can drop cortisol and other stress hormones by around 30%), so I'd maybe look into booking her weekly massages? Also general things such as diet, therapeutic support, exercise (as much as possible), will all help keep the stress levels down and will make her less likely to have a bad episode...

Good luck, I hope someone can give you a more informed answer :).

 

[Casey_03]

I would like to speak to her about how we should manage this if it happens, but I am also worried if I talk to her about this then she will become anxious about it happening and fixate on it.

I think your concern is valid. I would suggest coming up with a plan yourself but perhaps not mentioning anything to her. I know that when I gave birth, 90% of the stress I experienced afterward was caused by people telling me to worry about postpartum depression, to worry about my depression and PTSD getting bad, etc. It did make me fixate, as you say, and created a great deal of unnecessary fear. It made me second guess myself. I am guessing that she is already terrified and nervous enough, so if you do bring up the PTSD, yeah, it might just make things worse. On the bright side, there is a chance she won't have a major episode -- in my experience, giving birth and having the baby eliminated all my symptoms, because it made me much more focused on the one thing that matters, and everything else pretty much just went out the window. You might be surprised by how well she copes.

 

[scout86]

Is she in therapy to help deal with the PTSD? If so, this might be a good topic for discussion there. How does she feel about discussing her feelings with you in general? I've never gone through childbirth, but I can tell you that I usually worry about stuff in advance, even if I don't share the worries with anyone. (And usually I don't share them.) It actually helps to have someone express a willingness to discuss things like this and to help come up with a plan. But, that's probably an individual thing. You're the one that knows her. I think the best thing for a relationship, though, is if the parties feel free to talk about stuff like this.

 

[SteveH]

I think your concern is valid. I would suggest coming up with a plan yourself but perhaps not mentioni...

Thats encouraging to hear how that the baby helped you put all that behind you and great for you too so congratulations.
In terms of a plan for myself - any recommendations on what I can do if this occurs? We are planning a home birth but all I can think of other than reassuring her and being there for her is asking if she would like to relocate to a midwife suite, and telling the midwife to see if she can recommend any medication to calm her down and alleviate the symptoms.

 

[SteveH]

Is she in therapy to help deal with the PTSD? If so, this might be a good topic for discussion there. H...

She hasnt had therapy for a long time she has had it for years, is good at managing it in general, and other than flashback nightmares, doesnt have waking episodes very often anymore. We are very good at discussing stuff and she is open with me, so we would have no problem talking about it if i decided that was the best course of action

 

[Casey_03]

@SteveH I don't really know enough about your wife's history and PTSD symptoms to offer any detailed advice, but I would say it wouldn't hurt to have an emergency plan in place and to find out ahead of time what medications she can take to calm her down, just in case. (If she's going to be breastfeeding, she's a bit more limited there).

Really, the most important thing is for you not to panic, not to second guess her, and not to hype up any fears about things going wrong. Don't create a self-fulfilling prophecy and be so worried about her having an episode that you trigger one. The most helpful thing for me when I thought I was falling apart in the days after the birth was seeing other people have confidence in me. I was a nervous wreck, I was convinced everything I did was wrong, that I was a bad mother, that I couldn't handle the stress -- you name it. But as soon as I saw someone look at me with confidence in their eyes and tell me a) that this sort of stress and panic is absolutely normal and b) I'm doing absolutely fine -- most of the panic melted away and I grew stronger. That's really the most important thing.

You should also keep in mind that a certain level of stress, anxiety and even depression is completely normal. Especially when sleep deprivation sets in. So she will likely cry a lot and panic, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's having an episode -- that's just a normal reaction to having given birth. Her hormones will be all out of flux for a while.

Personally, i had a few instances of hyperventilating and flat-out sobbing, and I saw a doctor about it but was told that it's actually normal given the sleep deprivation and adjustment period after birth. So don't freak out if you see her crying or acting stressed -- that's something she has to go through. I think it's an inevitable part of birth.

The thing you should watch out for is if she seems to have no attachment to the baby for a sustained period of time, if she takes no interest in it, or if she starts having urges to harm herself or the baby (that right there is PPD or PPP). If THAT happens, doctors will know what to do. But I don't think there's really any way to plan for that apart from being aware of the symptoms and having a doctor on speed dial. Also, that is a worst-case scenario.

Try to go into this with confidence and optimism; leave the worst-case scenarios in the back of your mind and try to focus on the good stuff. I'm not usually a cheery person who promotes optimism, but in this situation, I really think it is extremely important.

 

[Lotis]

@SteveH I would advise speaking to her about how she feels in general - ask her if she is feeling comfortable or has any concerns about childbirth. The fact that she is planning a home birth sounds like she is in pretty good shape when it comes to the birthing part. I give her credit - I could not do that. Pregnancy was a huge trigger for me. It sounds like you are very in tune with your wife's PTSD and you would not have posted here if you didn't already have concerns. Has their been any signs that would make you wonder about this?
~L

 

[GMW]

There are ways round the adrenaline - check out hypnobirthing (not as hippy as it sounds, it's just practising the art of incredibly deep relaxation). I had my second child with hypnobirthing, water and gas and it was by far the lovliest thing.

Unfortunately (and I hate to say this) there are worst things that can happen during birth if adrenaline becomes too high than flashbacks etc. Adrenaline slows down and stops birth, this then means more interventions are necessary, meaning you could end up with forceps or a c-section which in itself falls into the category of "birth trauma"

The best way to keep her adrenaline levels VERY VERY low and keep things safe for her and baby is to practise relaxation. In the same way the body can be triggered into stress and anxiety, you can programme it to respond positively to triggers as well.

For example, whenever I practised hypnobirthing I would put on a lavender candle. I began to associate lavender with relaxation. So during birth I had a lavender diffuser going and a lavender bag to sniff. Even now whenever I sniff lavender, my mind is transported back to holding my baby, the warm water and holding him close to my chest.

IT IS A MYTH THAT BIRTH HAS TO BE AWFUL. IT DOES NOT AND THE MORE SHE LISTENS TO THAT LIE THE MORE SHE WILL BELIEVE IT AND THE MORE IT IS LIKELY TO COME TRUE.

Trust me, birth does NOT have to be painful. Just remember, relax, minimal intervention, try to limit how many of her known triggers are around, if it is safe to do so, opt for a home birth. I am not saying it will be pain FREE but mine felt like nothing more than bad tummy ache. The worst part was pushing and the stinging sensation reminded me of some of my issues but by that point the body is so into the swing of labour and birth, nothing and nobody and no amount of fear is going to stop the baby coming out. You do just have to roll with it. There are worse things in the world than having a flashback during birth... enduring more trauma in the form of a c-section. Yes it wasn't nice having a flashback mid birth BUT it is over, I had a lovely birth instead and when I look back, it is the rest of it my mind focuses on.

I have a sister who is a trained midwife and an anenatal educator - she knows all this stuff and there is research etc to back it up. I can give you her email address, she'd be happy to talk to you. Or I can share my story with you so your girl knows that birth does not have to be awful. She just needs to learn to relax and trust her body (it knows what it is doing, it was designed for this, it doesn't need a doctor to help get your child born).

Good luck! Parenthood is wonderful!