PTSD and Drinking

[Shoka]

Dependency?

I need a little advice,

I'm a carer and have watched my bf start to rely more and more on having a few drinks at the end of every single day in order to wind down. He even questioned himself the other day as to whether he might have the beginnings of a problem as we watched a television segment that dealt with alcohol dependency symptoms.

I'm particularly concerned right now because he is under and extreme amount of stress due to some family issues. Last night he had three drinks quickly in a row and I watched his mood go from steady to extremely negative and unsteady. He even started his old behaviors of accusing me of things that are unfounded.

I'm worried and don't know how to broach this subject with him. His doctors have told him to stay away from alcohol, but I think he thinks that having 3 beers a night is okay, and is staying away from it. He has family members who have terrible addictions to alcohol and drugs, so there is a family link to that disease.

I haven't said anything because I'm afraid to bring it up, but last night, it clearly contributed to his negativity, which is already there without the alcohol, because of his PTSD.

What do you think I should do? How would you want your carer to handle this?

 

[Xenu]

Is there anyone here who combines the more useful parts of cognitive dissonance with some limited emotional feeling? Can you numb yourself during the day to work then feel again afterward? Or does it have to be all or nothing? I'm tempted to use the numbing mechanisms to deal with some work issues, but I want to feel the rest of the time without and not drink.

 

[Dylan]

Xenu,

I was at a retreat (for the type of healing work I do) and a doctor did speak about how she numbs during an emergency situation, but then works to 'come back' later so that the numbness doesn't persist. So, I guess it's utilized similar to the way you're describing, but her description didn't indicate that it was voluntary; it just happened.

I am a pretty severely compartmentalized person and I have been unable to consciously cause this to happen - go numb for situation 'x' and return to having emotions for situation 'y'. Even if I could, a big downside would be that I'd have to process the situations, and resulting emotions, from the numb times which, as all of us here can attest, is painful and hard work.

So, long story short: I don't think it's (healthily) possible.

-Dylan

 

[Xenu]

Thank you Dylan for both posts. This is all quite new to me, and my emotions are returning after being repressed so many years. I don't find myself able to shut them down quite as easily as before and I guess thats a good thing. The compartmentalization you describe is common among trauma victims and I suffer from some of it too. Its so much easier to deal with individuals than groups.

 

[Cate]

Hi Xenu.

I became an expert at numbing out. I didn't even realize I was doing it until I just numbed out completely. I don't know how to explain it, other than to say I felt as if I was in a bubble and the 'real' world was happening outside of my body. I just felt like an observer and I felt nothing.

In order to start being aware of my feelings again, I had to realize that I had trained myself to completly dissociate. It's really hard to re-learn how to recognize your own feelings again. I had to cut down on my drinking (before I was diagnosed with ptsd I was drinking a bottle of wine each night in order to get to sleep...I hate insomnia!!!) and I see a doctor who specializes in ptsd. I'm sleeping through the night now.

I completed a survey on this forum once where they asked me what the worst side effect of my ptsd was....without a doubt it was the dissociation.....some doctors call it depersonalization. In my case it was horrible....I felt nothing and it felt as if the rest of the world was a movie that I was just watching.

It's common for ptsd sufferers to cover up their emotions by dissociation, drugs, anything else to mood alter them but, if we can slowly allow ourselves to heal and to feel, I think the desire to mood alter will eventually go away and if you need extra help to do that then you just have to do what you have to do (there's a ton of help out there you just have to pick up the phone).

Take care of yourself and hang in there. :thumbs-up

Cate