Relationship Ptsd And Impulses?

[discarded]

As hard as it is maybe it is time to let go. There comes a time when it just isn't worth the hurt and anguish anymore. Use the support of your friends to help you through the tough times. Get out before it destroys you. Maybe when he is over having his fun and pretending there is nothing wrong with him, he will make contact again. Until then, work on you so that if he comes back you have a better idea of what you want and what your limits and boundaries are.

I know how hard it is from my own miserable experiences. I hit rock bottom myself, plunging into deep depression and wanting to end my life. If it weren't for my family I possibly would have done it. All because my sufferer treated me so badly and showed no concern for how hurt I was. Sure, PTSD may have played a role and maybe he couldn't help it, but it was destroying me and 28 years together made absolutely no difference. At this point your sufferer knows you are there waiting for him, accepting all he is dishing out, don't be his doormat. You deserve so much more.

 

[Dallas]

and yes there are some girls

Oy vay...that would be "game over" for me.

Sincerely,
Dallas.

 

[Invisible-Guy]

I'm just thanking God I'm not in jail right now. My car got towed while I was at my counselors and when I went to the police, they weren't going to release the car to me at first, I went crazy and started trashing the police station. They called my wife to confirm that I could get the car out of impound and told her "we just wanna get himout of here." They could have carted me off. When my impulse and my temper collide, it's kinda scary because I really don't want to hurt anybody, I all too well what I'm capable of. I'm finally learning to regulate most of them and have a great new Psychologist. Meds either don't help me with impulses or they make me a zombie, no in between.

 

[Dallas]

You are fearfully and wonderfully made, CES_, you have abundant treasures and gifts that God gave you and you alone. Why would you waste these gifts that God gave you on someone who doesn't cherish and treasure you? Don't grovel and lower yourself and compromise your dignity and self-respect with some guy who is out running around with a bunch of women on some "vacation". Don't do it!

Sincerely,
Dallas.

 

[ces__]

Im glad your OK Invisible-Guy. We have our moments and I can imagine the whole "abiding law" thing doesn't mix well under such unfortunate ironic circumstances. Thats terrible.

And thank you Dallas.

Still not home. apparently he lost his phone. some one stole it. whatever. HAHAHA KARMA.
hasn't contacted his family either (I've been talking to one of his sisters)
haven't said one word since Sunday. didn't even say happy birthday to his older sister via Facebook.

I really dont know how Im dealing with this. I just want him back to tell him how (I wish I could use all the curse words possible on here) hurt I am about this and I want nothing to do with him until he realizes he's a (profanity) idiot, wrong, and hurt me to no (profanity) end.


IM LOOSING MY MIND.

 

[Invisible-Guy]

Your mind is in your skull silly :confused:

 

[ces__]

Haha.

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone.
We broke up. He knows it's all because of him and he said he hopes he realizes soon what he's loosing with me. He's a mess. I'm a mess. I really don't know what to do anymore I don't understand how he can be like this and yet again... I get screwed over by a guy. Like I'm not destined to be with anyone. I'm really not.

 

[Invisible-Guy]

Hi CES, That's just the PTSD talking, I feel the same way sometimes. You'll find a great person to be with, and when you do, you'll really know what you've got because you've already experienced what you don't want in a partner.

 

[ces__]

Invisible guy, Thank you so much for the reassurance.

Of course, I tried talking to him yesterday because I know it's stupid but he hid pictures of us on Facebook after he said he wouldn't, (the point is, why are you doing something and acting the other?) and said he talked to his sisters, so later on that day I asked one of them what I should do about it, believe him, or just let it go, she had no idea what was going on and therefore he started calling me the psycho, that the way I AM acting he doesn't want to get back together and that's final. Like I'm sorry but is that a crime?

Also on Monday I apologized to his mom via message because we had a huge argument in the middle of the night. He also said really mean things to me how I'm crazy (I'm not though... Like sorry for trying to get help for me to figure out what's best for you). Then I straight up told him I'm better than this I'm a great brilliant person smart know what I want etc... And he said I know, that's why we should be broken up you deserve better. And I also told him how sick to my stomach it makes me how he used to treat me so well and he comes home and turns into this monster. And I asked if hell at least remember that and he said yeah. That's the last I heard from him. Then I deleted him off all social networking sites because I was to myself like you know what I'm doing being hurt by his actions. Hiding pictures etc (I'm sorry but if you cared you'd leave them IMO) ...

Look. Sorry for the rant. Invisible guy and everyone else. I know I'm a great person. And thank you. If it wasn't for you guys, I don't think I would of really seen it. I know I should of just stopped talking to him instantly. But do you think by any chance he will come around and be like, crap. I messed up and I really do need her in my life. Like so you think he does feel guilty and wrong about this?

 

[ces__]

Hi again. Okay. I know no one answered my last question yet seriously, this is driving me insane.
So obviously haven't talked to him in days. I deleted him off social networking sites like I said... (And his number) He has the nerve to block me on Facebook...along with deleting some tweets to me... I haven't contacted him!!! What's his problem?! He also deleted all my friends? Like the complete opposite is happening than what should. He's making this a whole lot worse than he is and it's. rediculously shady.. I don't know the word for it. Like is he trying to get a rise out of me to see how far Il go to "freak out" on him again?
This is so unfair. If anything, I should be the one blocking him. (Which I was thinking about doing)
Like it gets worse as the days go and I'm not doing ANYTHING for him to be this way. What is going on?

 

[safenow]

ces, stop a minute and take some cleansing breathes. Calm down.

First off, why haven't you blocked him? Because you still care about him. All that is doing is feeding into your insecurities. For your own sake, STOP!

Life is very rarely fair. It is not realistic to think it will ever be fair. In order to move on, you have to let go of the past. Sure, from time to time you will think of him, but look upon this as a learning experience. An experience of what not to do again.

You are better than this. So let go.

Good luck to you.

 

[amethist]

I have to agree with safenow, maybe now is the time to close the door on him.

Why put yourself though all of this when he is shutting you out.

Closing the door on him does not mean you have to forget him, just remember the good times and look for those else where in your life.

We can all look back and think "If only I had done that, or said this", but would it have really made a difference, probably not.

Take some time to care for your self and how you want to feel, work on that and move forward knowing you tried to do what was right. its not your fault it went wrong.

Take care and breath for yourself for a while.