Ptsd And Raising A Family

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

@KwanYingirl - Thanks for sharing your story. I didn't want to hit the like button, but I did want you to know that I appreciate you sharing.

 

[scout86]

Well, what is it about teaching that you like? (I think it's cool that you like it so much! Kids need and deserve teachers who like what they're doing!)

 

[Nam]

This one is a toughy @JEKBreatheandBelieve . I have four kids. When I was really symptomatic, I had two little babes. I quit my job and did the best I could. That meant terrible food for my toddler, and hubby pulling a lot of the weight. My stress cup was just so maxed. I couldn't do anything else. Eventually, PTSD won't take up so much room in your life if you work through your traumas. You'll get better at finding equilibrium when it seems you're overwhelmed.

I'm still a stay at home mom with a very part time self employed "job". It's not that I can't handle one but because my family needs me more now so that hubs can further his career.

Here are some practical advice that I can suggest. Take what you want and leave the rest.

• Log your experiences at school everyday
• Prepare meals ahead of time. Crock pot frozen meals or Once a Month Cooking (OAMC) recipes.
• State your needs to your significant other if you have one. Make changes accordingly. (Some days you'll take more on, other days, not so much)
• Find quiet time for yourself for at least a half hour everyday. I don't care if you lock yourself in your bathroom.
• Exercise. This doesn't have to complicated. There are many 7 minute work outs you can do. Or take a walk in the morning (get your alone time and exercise.)
• Make lists of things to do
• Ask for help. Everyone needs help once in a while. You might be in a position someday to help someone else. That's where I'm at today. I help as much as I can to other moms. You'll pay it forward.
• When it comes to the kids, it's okay that the house is mess. Just throw the toys in a basket. It's okay that they don't shower everyday. Every other day is fine. Try to put out clothes for the whole week when you do laundry. It helps in the morning. I bought cheap hanging cubbies for the closet. They work awesome for it.
• Stay with therapy and do the necessary homework that comes with it. It's work. Even though it takes up time right now, you'll regain that time later.
• Take advantage of carpooling if your kids are in activities.

Be easy on yourself. You just came back. Give yourself some time. Hugs.

 

[Momofthree]

@Nam I love your post! I'm going to use some of those suggestions too! I really wish I could write out a to do list, but if I do I get so overwhelmed by all the stuff that is on it I start to panic. I do however sometimes make a 'done' list at the end of my day as part of my meditation and praise myself for all that I managed to get done. "I kept the kids alive" is always on my list too, it just makes me laugh because some days it seems like that's my whole day.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

• Log your experiences at school everyday

• Prepare meals ahead of time. Crock pot frozen meals or Once a Month Cooking (OAMC) recipes.

• State your needs to your significant other if you have one. Make changes accordingly. (Some days you'll take more on, other days, not so much)

• Find quiet time for yourself for at least a half hour everyday. I don't care if you lock yourself in your bathroom.

• Exercise. This doesn't have to complicated. There are many 7 minute work outs you can do. Or take a walk in the morning (get your alone time and exercise.)

• Make lists of things to do

• Ask for help. Everyone needs help once in a while. You might be in a position someday to help someone else. That's where I'm at today. I help as much as I can to other moms. You'll pay it forward.

• When it comes to the kids, it's okay that the house is mess. Just throw the toys in a basket. It's okay that they don't shower everyday. Every other day is fine. Try to put out clothes for the whole week when you do laundry. It helps in the morning. I bought cheap hanging cubbies for the closet. They work awesome for it.

• Stay with therapy and do the necessary homework that comes with it. It's work. Even though it takes up time right now, you'll regain that time later.

• Take advantage of carpooling if your kids are in activities.

Thanks for sharing your experience and your empathy. I like the idea of logging experience at school- maybe not every day, but definitely often. We prepare meals that give us two nights of leftovers and we plan for two weeks at a time so we're getting that part down. I have quiet time, I exercise, I make lists of things do to (@Momofthree - I keep them small and manageable), we've come to accept the messy house and clean when we can, and I am definitely staying with therapy. Thankfully my kids are not in any activities other than daycare and school! I am working on the asking for help part, but I really don't know what I need help with. That's the part I am trying to figure out. Thanks again for sharing, I really appreciate hearing other people's experiences and advice.

 

[risingsun]

I have quiet time, I exercise, I make lists of things do to

I think quiet time whether it is exercise, deep breathing, or even better "meditating" is imperative so that you can ground yourself. Even if its a scheduled 15-20 minutes a day that would be so great for you to keep up with that. I know its hard with little ones but to work that in would help you feel calmer all the way around. Glad that the partial hospitalization program was beneficial to you:). And even if you've had some rough days, it does not take away from the progress you have made and will continue to make. Best to You, Rising

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

And even if you've had some rough days, it does not take away from the progress you have made and will continue to make. Best to You, Rising

Yes, this is one of those big things I keep forgetting! All is not lost because of some rough days.

 

[risingsun]

All is not lost because of some rough days.

Absolutely not. Despite rough patches here and there, you have made so much progress. Hold onto that and let the rest go. Stay in the moment my friend.

I always liked this quote from Daniel Hillel (I believe its from him)
“I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.”

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

@risingsun - Thanks for those encouraging words. And I like that quote a lot!

 

[risingsun]

Thanks for those encouraging words. And I like that quote a lot!

I'm so glad. Remember, despite any rough moments you are upward and onward on this healing journey. And You Will Get There. Keep the Faith, Warmest Always, Rising.

 

[Freedomfighter]

I feel your pain. The emotionless, cold, abusive people that I meet everyday at work would make anyone puke. The thing is: they know already that I have PTSD, they even know the criminals that caused my PTSD. They pretend to be nice and then harass me on the account of the people that are stalking and harassing me.

Now they want to go out and eat a birthday meal with me. Is that laughable or what?

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

@Kroatien - My co-workers know I have PTSD, but not the full extent. They know I was out for 2 months because of it. I am struggling with feeling welcomed back or fitting back in because people don't understand "mental illness". I feel hurt because only 2 people reached out to me while I was gone, when I know if I was ill or someone in my family was ill they would have reached out much more. I work in a small school and the incident that occurred really had to do with people feeling overwhelmed by the needs of the kids and not being able to meet them because there aren't enough people. The way the other person reacted was not appropriate and it triggered me. Anyway, I am sorry that you work with people who make you feel so badly.