Ptsd And Training

[Friday]

My training has been blown up 3 times this year. I get suicidally frustrated over it (not useful).

In the past... I simply have to accept this, same as an injury sidelining me, or a crisis bringing me away. I keep training, and keep setting goals, but also know until I'm manageable? I'm gonna keep getting benched.

The hardest part for me is the lost time. I am 9 months behind where I "should" be. And that's the part I have to look out for. The shoulds. I want to beat myself up over not being where I could be (coulds are better ;), albeit still frustrating). Can't do it. Cause beating myself up has the exact same result on me mentally/emotionally that ignoring an injury and failing to rehab it properly does: my body (and therefor my training also) goes to shit.

Something that can help is looking up rehabbing injuries & returning after injury. The advice to goooooo slooooooow, the gradually relearning to trust your body, the setting reasonable (challenging, but reasonable) goals, listening to your body & not letting pride eat you alive doing more (or less!) than you should ...all the stuff that applies to physical injury & setbacks? Also applies to PTSD setbacks.

The Olympics (and qualifiers leading up to it) is the only event that has a time limit on it. And that's just because you have to be top in the nation, and that always has a super brief window. You miss that window and it's gone.) For every other event? There's always another coming in a few months or next year. Every other event is a life long series of goals, challenges, and lifestyle to lead.

 

[Changing4Best]

I promised to ask my therapist, who runs marathons, about this yesterday, and this is her reply:

That's an interesting dilemma.
I've really never thought about it.
I would wonder if the mental illness (anxiety, depression, PTSD, whatever) needs addressing (medication, therapy-wise). Most of the time I think of athletics (runs, triathlons, marathons, etc.) as being therapeutic for folks with any kind of struggles mentally or emotionally. But I can see how severe anxiety (phobic type problems, such as going outdoors or being around people) could contribute to problems already there--because, to train, you do need to be able to get outside, get to a gym, or whatever.

Not really sure what else to say, but I did just google "running and depression" and all kinds of things popped up. Might be some good reading there. Or anxiety and running, or whatever the question is.

Hope you are having a good weekend!

 

[Sgrobleben]

My heart goes out to you! I have been dealing with PTSD since I was a teen. I grew up in a very abusive home, where water was used to threaten and get me to do things. Consequently, I never learned to swim. When I had kids, I made sure they got lessons, and learned. As they became teenagers, they began to do triathlons, and got really good at them. Then, their desire turned to the entire family doing with them: I would do anything for my kids! So, this meant that at 46, I had to learn to swim (run and bike). Each discipline gave me anxiety, for one reason or another, but swimming was by far the worst! I would have such severe anxiety, before going to bed.....knowing I had to get up and go to swim practice. I did my first triathlon six months later....in the same water I almost drown in as a young girl. It took me 30 minutes, to pray my way out of that water. The anxiety, and stress was so severe, for two weeks after that, that my coach and husband were very worried I would never snap out of it. I have taken it slow, and while I am scheduled for my next triathlon (in three days), I am comfortable pulling out last minute. For me, it has been discovering what the real problem is, and dealing with that: it's not the water, oddly enough,but the loss of control. What has helped me, is memorizing Contemporary Christian songs. I like the contemporary, cause many have great catchy choruses. I now sing, whatever song I have memorized, in my head while swimming. It calms me, and helps me pace through the swim. I have also told my family that while I am usually very competitive, that triathloning for me will be about conquering fears.....and NOT getting on a podium. Can't tell you how much anxiety was created by just feeling like I would let people down if I did not "show well." Yes, that last part was all completely "in my head," but real to me none-the-less. Stay strong, and know that you are not alone. While I truly believe that God intends all for good, I can't lie and say that I haven't sat back and wondered "WHY" at times.

 

[MT Johnny]

I see this thread is about 2 months old - I don't even know if I've been on here two months, I think it's more like 4 or 5, but I'm pretty in the fog these days.

Oh, I so commisserate - I missed my Memorial Day weekend tri that I was so psyched to do. Everything has really gone to hell with me, I'm not running, swimming, or biking, and barely making it for my group fitness class at my gym, which is mostly strength training.

I totally fell off the wagon with nutrition, and went on a two month junk food binge with terrible results, I'm disgusted when I look at myself in the mirror and more disgusted when I step on the scale.

I feel like I've lost all credibility with the people who have gotten to know me over the past few years, my new group of athletic friends. That is perhaps the thing that is most disappointing to me. I make a lot of promises about this and that, but my follow through is terrible. Why, because of the whole PTSD thing. I have good intentions, but ... it always falls apart on me.

I finally am getting back on my diet, which is good, and I am going to try really hard to get back at my training regimen.

Mostly though, I think I need to keep my head down, my mouth shut, and just actually DO some of this stuff, without yammering on to people about "I'm gonna, I'm gonna" ... because in the real world, it's results that people look for, and without results, I'm just a wanna be or a poser or a fraud.

 

[Eagle3]

I totally feel your struggle here. I train in a rather brutal Martial Art and I have PTSD from abuse and bullying. Even in spite of the fact that my instructor triggers the crap out of me, I have managed to earn my first black belt in a little over 4 years. That's with a complete physical and mental breakdown about a year ago. I rested for one week, then came back. Part of my assertiveness training in this art has been when to tell my completely UNREASONABLE instructor, "NO! Not up to this right now, I'll let you know when I'm ready". Strangely enough, he respects that. It has taken longer than it should have to get to this stage, and I still have another black belt to earn from this man, but I'm learning lessons that I would otherwise have not. Learning to take care of myself and give myself the time to recover, have bad days, and just say no to unreasonable expectations for my situation. Ye s training suffers while I'm recuperating, but o well, that's my life. All I can do is all I can do, and so can you!! Whatever you pursue, do it for love of the game or challenge, but don't push yourself until it becomes a chore or a burden. Find the balance and enjoy whatever progress you make :-)