There is no doubt in my mind that I have suffered from PTSD for my entire life. As a child, I was physically and emotionally abused by my father. Leaving the house at age 20, I was abused by my husband for 16 years until he left me for another woman, a very happy day in my life. Our marriage produced four children;which produced a whole new set of problems. Once we divorced, I was left on my own with the four children and, frankly, I didn't know how to manage, the anxiety level in my life was so difficult. To make a long story short, after the divorce my only son who was eight years old at the time at a what they called a "nervous breakdown" and was hospitalized in a mental ward of a hospital for three months. Upon his release, it was felt by the doctor's and social workers that he should go live with his father since there was no man in my life. Very shortly after that my six year old daughter was raped, having been taken from her babysitter's yard with another little girl and brought to the rooftop of a garage. I called my ex-husband but he wouldn't come and so I had to go to the hospital with her alone; the other little girl had both her parents with her. Later on, the girls had to appear before the grand jury, as they had caught the young rapist, who was ultimately sent to jail. By then my life was pinning out of control. I began to have serious panic attacks and these continued until I reached menopause. I will not go on about our dysfunctional family but to this day there is problems with, I think, all of us. I have coped by shutting down emotionally. I do not really feel any love for anybody and have to pretend feelings for my children and grandchildren, which is very disturbing.
I am hoping to get help from this site.
I am hoping to get help from this site.
