Sufferer Ptsd From Assault

[Trinity]

Hi, not to get into things too much I just wanted to say Hi! I went through sexual (indecent) assault and have suffered PTSD as a result. I was diagnosed many years ago (the trauma happened about 17 years ago) by a psychiatrist and thought I was over it. In thinking about it I don't think I am though because I do still have a compulsion to masturbate along with negative thoughts. I usually think of myself being raped (even though I never was during the attack one of the guys did say "just f*ck the b*tch). I'm also obsessive compulsive about checking my car whenever I'm out at night. I won't get in until I've checked everything. For me certain noise sometimes freaks me out and reminds me of the event but for me the biggest concern is the masturbation because if the negative association with it. Anyway, sorry this turned out longer than I thought.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Hello and welcome to the forum. :)

From my reading of self help books to help with my own sexual assaults I have read that masturbating to negative thoughts or thinking being assaulted while masturbating is some what common.

Are you seeing a therapist or do you have some kind of support?

Best wishes.

 

[Hashi]

Welcome to the forum, although I'm sorry for your reasons for being here.

Are you in therapy at the moment? It sounds like a lot is coming up for you right now (maybe it has been for some time). Things happening years ago but coming back up to be dealt with is how it goes sometimes. We start healing when we're ready to heal. I hope this is the start of a healing journey for you, and I hope the forum can help with that.

 

[BadMemories]

I'm really glad you asked this. It's interesting and I sometimes have the same thoughts during masturbation. I will be watching this thread for more answers.

 

[WillyKat]

One thing I learned the hard way, as I'm sure others have is that this isn't something we ever "get over". You cope with it with varying degrees of success.

I agree with Hashi that therapy is important. You can find loads of support here but as good as this forum is, it's still a supplement to good therapy.

Welcome!

 

[Trinity]

Thank you everyone for your responses. I was in therapy before. I was in a group for both anxiety and another for depression. I also had a psychiatrist but I haven't seen anyone in a while. I do still take medication (Zoloft) for depression and I'm told it is also good as an anxiolytic.

As for the checking of my car I have done that for quite some time but I've never connected it to my PTSD and I'm still not sure if it is or not. I started doing it because I heard a story about a man hiding out in women's cars. It was just an urban legend and I knew it wasn't true but I kept thinking about the fact it could happen. I've had a time when I thought someone was under my car too whilst driving and it freaked me out.

The noise isn't a big thing - it is usually if I'm in an environment similar to where it happened. For years I couldn't even be in the same place/environment but I've forced myself to and usually I'm okay with it - it's just like if someone/a group come through suddenly and are very noisy. I don't really specifically think about what happened anymore either or have flashbacks or nightmares regularly - they may happen occasionally. That's why I wasn't sure if I still really had PTSD.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Trinity,

Welcome to MyPTSD forum! :)

No one here can tell you whether or not you still meet the criteria for PTSD, but the fact that you are concerned about what you are experiencing indicates there are symptoms that are disrupting the present. Unfortunately, that is pretty typical of PTSD as the symptoms can continue or pop back up when life gets a bit stressful, but only a mental health professional can really discern the underlying cause or reason.

I hope you find the information and support here beneficial. There is also a related site: MySexAbuse.com that you may find helpful.

Take care.

Debbie