Ptsd From The Trauma Of Recovering Repressed Memories?

[Survivor2Thriver]

Some people have more connection to deep self than others. Our healing work is intended to help us gain access to that deep self. Our deep self is peaceful, present, compassionate, etc. It will always be there. It is inviolate.

Exactly! The peace within. :) The depth of trauma = depth of peace. That's a lot of peace! :joyful:

 

[therisa]

@Bedbug , I understand and know of the trauma, which you speak of, having my castle's walls crumbled during a very severe panic attack, on August 14, 2007. On this date, I had to re-experience 33 years of past trauma that I had suppress with varying degree of success. It was my second baptist of fire, from which, I am rebuilding myself, as the person, who I am meant to be. Letting my poetry be, the tool, I use to face my past, at my own pace. The first one, was my mom's rejection of me, as her daughter, for she can only accept me, as her eldest son.

Peace and self-love be, with you, Bedbug.

 

[maxpayne]

Does anyone else feel like this? It is almost like I have two levels of PTSD: one from the original trauma and one from the moment that trauma was recalled.

I had the very same thing happen just two weeks ago. After Therapy I had flashbacks of being traumatised 3 to six months after the event. I could remember the flashbacks for what felt like the first time and made me feel that not only was I re-living the event but was also reliving the trauma.

I think it is possible to forget the flashbacks of the original trauma especially if it occurred at a young age as it is far to scary and complex for the psych to understand at the time. In fact I remember forgetting the PTSD now as when I came out of these states I can now remember the feeling of confusion, fright and disorientation but felt that they didn't happen at the time. I didn't really know what was going on at the time.

Only 22 years later am I able to understand these scary moments of my life that were long forgotten. I said to my therapist that remembering the PTSD was in some ways more scary than remembering the abuse. Its like a double whammy of PTSD but the therapist sad that it is very normal to feel in shock remembering these type of events and for it to be current PTSD symptoms they would need to be present in months time to come.

In other words that moment you experienced whilst re-living your PTSD will be present in time to come with its severity present and along with other symptoms of PTSD.

I also feel that My original PTSD has never really gone away as such. More it manifested into physiological trauma which has effected my continually. Because my memories were repressed so was the PTSD but the feelings I felt during the abuse and trauma were surfacing in my emotions and these were triggered by events. But because I could not remember the abuse at the time I was just left not knowing why I was having these floods of emotions at various points in my life. Now I have my memories I can put the pieces together and make sense of this in a way.

Hope this helps