Hey everybody :-)
I am 45, mum of 3 older kids, married to a wonderful understanding man (yes I am very lucky)!
I presume I have had PTSD most of my life due to severe childhood abuse, neglect, being abandoned and have had to fend for myself from a young age because my parents didn't care. I know my mum suffered from mental health issues too (she passed away in 1991 at the age of 49) and my Dad was too busy with his new wives and their kids.
I call my PTSD "My inner demon"! I can have a run of good days even weeks and then all of a sudden I see something on TV, read something etc and the "movie in my head" starts running on repeat again...over and over again.
A lot has happened in my life to contribute to the now diagnosed PTSD, GAD, Anxiety and panic disorder and then of course my phobia...the hardest one to treat...the fear of fear.
But my PTSD was officially diagnosed after a botched hernia surgery where I was sent home with internal bleeding and then rushed back to hospital and was told I was less than 24 hrs from dying from Peritonitis and bleeding inside my abdomen. When the Dr told me that...something happened in my brain! It is a bit hard to describe but it is like an evil switch was turned on and now I can't turn it off again.
What many ppl don't understand is when a family member suffers from PTSD...the whole family suffers! My poor husband has had to put up with so much, but he is still here and for that I am forever grateful! He really is my rock!
I was hospitalised for 16 weeks in s private psych hospital...being their guinea pig to all their horrible medications and unfortunately I am one of those ppl who can't tolerate antidepressants of ANY kind. I must have tried at least 15 different ones...one who made me put on 16kg in a little over 3 weeks (Avanza)...trust me I have tried almost everything!
I now take 4mg Xanax a day to keep the panic/anxiety at bay, but they don't really work anymore. I take beta blockers to block the physical adrenalin response that happens during a panic attack.
The WORST thing ppl can say to me is "Just focus on the positive and try not to think about the negative things!"
Yes, even my hubby does this because he doesn't really understand. He had a great childhood...have never had to stare death in the eyes, but I don't hold that against him. I know he loves me cuz he is still here...having to deal with my outbursts of up, down, all over the place behaviour.
Thank you for listening to some of my story but it is so long and complicated...I will give you a break and I am happy to answer any questions or go into further details if needed.
Cheers :-)
I am 45, mum of 3 older kids, married to a wonderful understanding man (yes I am very lucky)!
I presume I have had PTSD most of my life due to severe childhood abuse, neglect, being abandoned and have had to fend for myself from a young age because my parents didn't care. I know my mum suffered from mental health issues too (she passed away in 1991 at the age of 49) and my Dad was too busy with his new wives and their kids.
I call my PTSD "My inner demon"! I can have a run of good days even weeks and then all of a sudden I see something on TV, read something etc and the "movie in my head" starts running on repeat again...over and over again.
A lot has happened in my life to contribute to the now diagnosed PTSD, GAD, Anxiety and panic disorder and then of course my phobia...the hardest one to treat...the fear of fear.
But my PTSD was officially diagnosed after a botched hernia surgery where I was sent home with internal bleeding and then rushed back to hospital and was told I was less than 24 hrs from dying from Peritonitis and bleeding inside my abdomen. When the Dr told me that...something happened in my brain! It is a bit hard to describe but it is like an evil switch was turned on and now I can't turn it off again.
What many ppl don't understand is when a family member suffers from PTSD...the whole family suffers! My poor husband has had to put up with so much, but he is still here and for that I am forever grateful! He really is my rock!
I was hospitalised for 16 weeks in s private psych hospital...being their guinea pig to all their horrible medications and unfortunately I am one of those ppl who can't tolerate antidepressants of ANY kind. I must have tried at least 15 different ones...one who made me put on 16kg in a little over 3 weeks (Avanza)...trust me I have tried almost everything!
I now take 4mg Xanax a day to keep the panic/anxiety at bay, but they don't really work anymore. I take beta blockers to block the physical adrenalin response that happens during a panic attack.
The WORST thing ppl can say to me is "Just focus on the positive and try not to think about the negative things!"
Yes, even my hubby does this because he doesn't really understand. He had a great childhood...have never had to stare death in the eyes, but I don't hold that against him. I know he loves me cuz he is still here...having to deal with my outbursts of up, down, all over the place behaviour.
Thank you for listening to some of my story but it is so long and complicated...I will give you a break and I am happy to answer any questions or go into further details if needed.
Cheers :-)
