Supporter Ptsd Has Affected Our Relationship; Hoping To Get Through This Awful Time Together

[Bex89]

Hi everyone.

Just an introduction really. Happy I have found this website. My partner currently suffers with PTSD and it has affected out relationship. I am serving in the forces and we have a long distance relationship but do get to see each other regularly. Since being diagnosed with PTSD and being on medication it has been hard. I can't imagine what it's like to go through it but I know it has affected me also. When we are together everything seems okay like it always has been between us but when we are not he becomes very distant and can ignore phone calls and texts. I know it's right to give him his own space sometimes but I worry about him. I love him with all my heart and hopefully together we can get over this awful time.

Hopefully I can talk to people who are in the same situation here and maybe even understand it a little more from the actual sufferers.

Thanks everyone :-).

 

[BewitchedBewildered]

I understand. What you describe is pretty common on the forum. The distancing is really hard. t's been 4 weeks since I have talked to the man I have been with for almost 3 years. It's very hard.

Welcome! You are not alone. If you ever need/want to talk, just let me know.

 

[Bex89]

Hi BB,

Yes after reading a lot of the threads on here it seems very common. So nice to know you are not on your own though. I can't imagine how it is for 4 weeks though! You stay strong BB

 

[MoeX]

Hello Bex89,
Nice to meet you. Hope you get a lot of help and support here. I know I have.

 

[intothelight]

Welcome to the PTSD Forum!

 

[Theo]

Man, oh Man,

Did that! I was on the giving end of this situation. Just know that he loves you very much and the distance from someone he loves is the problem. He most likely will not be able to come to that conclusion right away. At the same time, I think he might need to know there are boundaries. You have emotional needs as well, and need to set boundaries. By the sounds of it he needs you lots!!!

Try Skype? Brief, Cute facebook messages.. I assume texting or facetime is not an option either.

I was going through work problems, an extremely high conflict custody case and living alone, meanwhile dealing with an abusive boss. When things got insanely bad I would always breakup with my girlfriend.. and in some cases try to fill the lost void with other people.

It was me just pushing my significant other away and getting into a cycle of self destruction when things got overwhelming. In some ways it was a cry for help when I couldn't ask for it.

Hmmm.. What to do.. Let him know that you are there and that you love him dearly. However, let him know that in order to do that he needs to talk to you and work though his problems with you. If he is having the urge to be alone.. he needs to communicate that, figure out his issues and come back (it'll happen quickly) In my case, it would take 24 hours and I'd be e-mailing again.

I some cases I " snapped out of it" quicker when my girlfriend said.. Ok here ya go! Your wish is my command.. here are my boundaries and I am not going to allow you to violate them. I hate to say it but a kick in the behind helps sometimes.. as long as he knows you are willing and ready to give help when he is ready to accept.

Oh! The other problem could be is that he feels that his issues are too burdensome for you, the he does not deserve you or that in some way you abandoned him (I felt like this) .. he may also be upset that you aren't there to hold him and fall asleep next to him.. When I was going through hell all I wanted was a shoulder to cry on.. which was my girlfriend's but I tried to fill that void as I had no other methods of support. But that will not work for him... he needs to soldier on the best he can until you get back.. because that void can never be filled.

Suggest friends he could talk to, therapists, etc

Don't feel guilty. Look out for yourself and try to get through this. Long distance sucks!!

Best of luck

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.