Ptsd History In The Family

[andy3438211]

I did not connect everything until after reading thru the forum. Looking back I know my Father had PTSD as well. He only told me once about returning fire while on patrol and he ended up killing a kid about 12 years old. He told me just before I went off to basic training about it and told me how the eyes followed him all these years. I see now the drinking and the always working on something was an escape from those eyes for him. He never talked about his service and only told me about it that one time. I know he did not sleep well and now it all makes sence to me. I wonder if anyone else connected with a parent like that. I know as soon as I do not 10 different things going it hits me like a brick wall. I guess keeping busy and the booze is my way to deal with it all as well. I only wish I would have known what he was dealing with before I lost him to a heart attack but its not like I could have helped him anyway. I only hope to be half as good as he was to everyone around him.

 

[Sully]

Not my father, but my grandfather and an uncle. Before PTSD was really a big thing I actually wrote my high school senior paper on the subject because I was tinkering with the idea of enlisting but I saw the effects on my relatives decades after the actual events took place. My grandfather never talked about his time in the service but he kept a journal while he was serving and I had the honor of reading some of it and using his exact words in my paper. He was a WWII vet and I grew up in the house next door to him and my grandmother. We saw them every day and grandma would tell stories about how he was when he came back from the war. I always used to hear her say when I was little "the war doesn't end when they come home". I guess the old bat (Sorry grandma, I love you but you are a bit nuts) was right.. It was just a different kind of battle... The drinking and fighting, the temper-- not the man I knew as my grandfather. My uncle went through the drinking and drug phase which eventually turned into the "mountain man" phase. I'm not quite sure he's worked himself out of that one yet. Anyways, when I first mentioned PTSD my entire family denied it could even be possible that anyone in the family had it.. it was like saying they had the plague. Because of the way they view PTSD I don't even let them know that my husband and I are both dealing with it or we'd be labeled "crazy". The funny thing is I find myself talking to my deceased grandfather as asking him for help instead of the rest of my living family.. maybe I am crazy.

 

[shogun]

Sully... Do you have PTSD because of COMBAT?..... If not please find your way to our sister site for family and supporters. You mentioned being enlisted but made no mention of any deployments etc etc. Many members of this forum are wary of newcommers and we prefer this place to be only for those like us.

 

[Sully]

Yup, but thanks for the insult. And because of that I'm not going to clear it up for you and get myself all worked up typing some horrible event out in detail so you know what I went through to prove that I am "people like you"..I've been here less than a day. Give me a break. I just saw some things that I could relate to in other aspects and made all of 2 posts... I'm "weary" of new people and don't like to just throw my shit out there.. It's bad enough I can't get help from doctors, don't talk to my family about it and live in a home that is emotionally toxic.. I don't need people here telling me to go away. I'll show myself to the door though. Thanks.

 

[Sully]

Oh, and I'm already a member of your "sister site". That's how I found this one in the first place. This isn't-- or should I say-- wasn't the first forum I belonged to so excuse me if I forgot to mention on here about deployments.. It's hard to keep track of what sites I make what posts to and when. For all I knew I did mention it. I'm on both sides of the fence here trying to figure out how to make life work and just looking for insight from other PEOPLE LIKE ME.

 

[Zipperhead]

Temper Temper there Sully. Welcome out. You can't blame us for being abit paranoid. That's how we insure that this site continues to provide insight from other PEOPLE LIKE ME. So suck back, reload and learn. There is allot of good info on here and allot of people who have been there, done that and got the T-shirt.

 

[Sully]

Sorry Zipperhead... Yes, I do have a bit of a short fuse.. but I have a bad taste in my mouth from the tone of the response from shogun and I can't seem to shake that feeling of being judged which is already something I am trying to deal with-- so I don't need judgment from the people I came to for support. I doubt you'd all be so quick to tell me to go to your "sister site" if I was a guy. If I could delete myself from the site I would but there doesn't seem to be a way to.. or maybe I'm just too dumb to figure it out--technology isn't really my thing. In any case, I've had issues before with guys assuming if a female is on a site like this that they have no combat experience and shouldn't be there, so you can see why I'm a bit defensive. I was an MP and the shit was real. I shouldn't have to prove myself. I do understand your reasons for keeping the site the way it is, and that was one of the reasons I joined, but going about verifying combat experience a nicer way might get a better results. Thanks for your efforts but I don't think I'll be back here much now, if at all.

 

[shogun]

No... You do have to prove yourself....which is why every new member that posts is asked to do an introduction so that everyone else can feel them out... There are a lot of imposters out there. If that's too much to ask please get out rather than starting a fight and whining. Sounds like you've got some man hatred goin on too. So what if you're a female.... Makes no difference. All that matters is if you were in the military and now have PTSD because of combat experiences. Seriously did you argue this much in bootcamp? " I don't have to prove myself" Hahaha everyone everyday has to prove themselves. Especially in a military enviroment. But here you are Sully throwing out advice to everyone else without us knowing much about you or why you're qualified to speak about being IN COMBAT. Everyone else here has put it out there where they've been and with who. We don't ask for in detail your specific experiences.... Those are for when you feel ready... Till then Suck it the f*ck up.

 

[Barberian]

Back on topic: My grandfather showed some signs of PTSD but I don't think he actually had PTSD. He wasn't a violent, or hateful man, but he was very withdrawn and prone to depression and was fond of the drink.

He was an officer and served on the atomic bomb project in Tennessee. He basically baby sat the civilian electrical engineers who did the real work. That haunted him for the rest of his life, the loss of life in Japan. He had a direct role in it, even if it was a small one. He also served on a destroyer after that in the Pacific and his ship got kamikazed two or three times. His division lost a few people. He would watch the old war movies and any time a ship was in trouble it really affected him. He would often tear up and occasionally cry.

He never told me any war stories. The only story he told me because we were having a conversation about fire, was that water can start a fire... When he was on a damage control team they were trying to shore up some damaged steam pipes and the steam was superheated. When the DC team got put the wood on the damaged pipe where the steam was coming out, it caught the wood on fire! The steam was hotter than 572 deg f, the ignition point of wood. (threw that story in, because even to this day I find it interesting).

 

[Jimmy1]

Sully, a lot of the guys on here are sick of people who join who have never been in combat and don't read the rules. It could also be because you didn't really put an introduction up. I saw your post where you mentioned your PTSD from active service and about secondary PTSD, but not everyone might have.

Back on topic, I think a lot of us, although not clinically proven yet, were exposed to some sort of secondary PTSD whether we know it or not. It might not be the same for all, after all it had to start somewhere. It's the old which came first, the chicken or the egg.