I read a little bit about it online. I guess it makes sense that I would qualify, but some part of me doubts the existence/nature of mental disorders in general... and also doubts the idea of "help"/support.
I've been diagnosed with OCD, ADD, and depression before.
"Oh well" or "whatever" are my mottoes...
Actually I think I'm a fairly high achiever, I've been on the Dean's List and got an overseas job offer this past year. But I'm also antisocial, abusing substances, and constantly calculating my own death.
I posted about seeking therapy in some online forums. Some people suggested that I might have PTSD.
Points worth mentioning:
-physically abused by manipulative mother (but, for the record, she loves me)
-witnessed many accounts of domestic violence between age 3 and 18
-my father tried to kill my mother
-they divorced when i was 6, she disappeared for a while but came back
-(saw her on weekends)
-he remarried three times (i think)
-i wasn't told details (or the truth, for that matter)
-Father had a child with another woman, but my half-sister disappeared after a year;
i saw her once when she was four. No news for thirteen years, but found her recently on Facebook. Made contact, want to spend more time together, yet haven't discussed how we are related yet. I don't know what to do.
-i watched a man kill my aunt in the parking lot of 7-11, when i was eight years old. It might've been an accident, classified as manslaughter. He ran away and I sat with her body till someone called the police.
-Saw school counselor once, but otherwise, no real way to cope with that except my uncle taking me to church every Sunday. I was Christian for at least ten years, used to pray and read the Bible everyday, through bisexuality and shoplifting, etc. I feel like I see God now, sure, but it's just a plain and transparent Nothingness.
-I spent a lot of time with my grandparents in my childhood. They're dead now.
-I'm Asian-American and I can't figure out where cultural divides lie. Speaking two languages seems to split my personality.
-I also use different names and different personas anyway. Maybe it's part of the stripping thing, too.
Anyways, I'll stop here for now. The list goes on, but I'm tired right now. I'm not even sure what's the point of "seeking support," but I figured I'd give it a try. I already decided I shouldn't marry or have children. My greatest achievement would be to not pass on these genes.
I've been diagnosed with OCD, ADD, and depression before.
"Oh well" or "whatever" are my mottoes...
Actually I think I'm a fairly high achiever, I've been on the Dean's List and got an overseas job offer this past year. But I'm also antisocial, abusing substances, and constantly calculating my own death.
I posted about seeking therapy in some online forums. Some people suggested that I might have PTSD.
Points worth mentioning:
-physically abused by manipulative mother (but, for the record, she loves me)
-witnessed many accounts of domestic violence between age 3 and 18
-my father tried to kill my mother
-they divorced when i was 6, she disappeared for a while but came back
-(saw her on weekends)
-he remarried three times (i think)
-i wasn't told details (or the truth, for that matter)
-Father had a child with another woman, but my half-sister disappeared after a year;
i saw her once when she was four. No news for thirteen years, but found her recently on Facebook. Made contact, want to spend more time together, yet haven't discussed how we are related yet. I don't know what to do.
-i watched a man kill my aunt in the parking lot of 7-11, when i was eight years old. It might've been an accident, classified as manslaughter. He ran away and I sat with her body till someone called the police.
-Saw school counselor once, but otherwise, no real way to cope with that except my uncle taking me to church every Sunday. I was Christian for at least ten years, used to pray and read the Bible everyday, through bisexuality and shoplifting, etc. I feel like I see God now, sure, but it's just a plain and transparent Nothingness.
-I spent a lot of time with my grandparents in my childhood. They're dead now.
-I'm Asian-American and I can't figure out where cultural divides lie. Speaking two languages seems to split my personality.
-I also use different names and different personas anyway. Maybe it's part of the stripping thing, too.
Anyways, I'll stop here for now. The list goes on, but I'm tired right now. I'm not even sure what's the point of "seeking support," but I figured I'd give it a try. I already decided I shouldn't marry or have children. My greatest achievement would be to not pass on these genes.
