PTSD-Related Nightmares

[Lionheart]

Although I am a survivor of prolonged child abuse and not a combat veteran, I am suffering horrific nightmares that are so disturbing that I refuse to write in detail about them. Suffice it to say that they are the kinds of nightmares that a holocaust survivor might have. My therapist wants me to see the psychiatrist for a med check right away, but it is a two week wait. In the meantime, I am almost afraid to go to sleep and I am a 48 year old man, *(who feels like a terrified child).
Am I alone? Do you suffer disturbing nightmares too? I wonder if these are similar to night terrors? Any ideas for coping with these while I await further assistance from my doctor?

 

[dharmaBum]

When I first went into my most recent relapse w/PTSD I had terribly graphic, violent nightmares. As you said, I don't write about them in detail. I had daytime flashbacks from the nightmares. The nightmares were worse than anything I experienced in real life, I think...

Anyway, it sounds like I was in your neighborhood. I started taking melatonin to help, it did help for the short term. I took 1/2 of a 3 mg capsule shortly before bedtime, and another 1/2 if I woke up. I was in CBT psychotherapy at the time and did dream scripting, etc. To document the dreams, I just wrote very short notes that would cue to me what the content was about.

On the melatonin, if you try it... The most documented research trials show that the effective dose is between 1/10 and 1 mg, not the 3, 6, or more mgs you see on the market shelves. Research trials show that those doses often have the opposite effect.

I tried valerian to bad effect in the same time period.

Now I do frequent acupuncture with a nightly chinese herbal sleep aid custom formulated by me for my licensed acupuncturist and think it helps alot.

 

[logan]

i get nightmares still and the coined pharse of flashbacks but i'v some soldice in sleep
even i curl up when i'm in pain
our body needs the rest and it helps us
and i still can still enjoy it knowing that when i a wake the pain strikes at for the frist
painful steps i walk.

 

[Onefineday]

I have been having nightmares for over a decade, I think I remember being told by somone they were night terrors, I don't know. I think now that I know I have PTSD I can see how a lot of these dreams definetly relate to my past. But I am so used to having nightmares that I haven't had help for it. I used to , when they first started it was how I ended up with the therapist that I have now, it went from talking to her about nightmares to my mum and her boyfriend and all the other things.
But my dreams are of every topic you can think of, being murdered or being the murderer, ghosts, zombies, being chased, getting buried alive, people from school teasing me, my mum getting back with her ex, my mum getting drunk, my teeth falling out, having someone hiding in my house... the list goes on. I've had nightmares for the last 4 days in a row. But I am so used to it it doesn't phase me as much. Well, I don't take as much notice of how much it phases me at least. I mean, I have TERRIBLE sleep, I'm always waking up, feeling tired all day, I can't go to bed until I am literally at the point that I'm asleep. I have tried all the methods and it doesn't work for me, so I just live with it.

 

[This Ends Now]

Lionheart,

Sorry you are having nightmares. I have had nightmares of all types for about as long as I can remember. I notice that PTSD related nightmares are a little different from normal nightmares. The normal ones are no fun but the PTSD ones are unbearable.

When I was a kid my nightmares about my father go so bad that I was too afraid to sleep many times. I wound up praying that God would take away my nightmares and it seemed to help. I do not know what your theological beliefs are but I do know that web sites about lucid dreaming suggest telling yourself that you are going to remember your dreams. It would seem that both sides have some effect (at least on me). If I tell myself while I am drifting off to sleep that I will or will not remember my dreams then I tend to be more or less able to remember them when I wake up.

Getting to sleep is a different issue. Since it will be a while before you can try prescription meds then I agree on the melatonin thing.... works wonders. Valerian root helped me some but it does not help everybody. Herbal tea is wonderful even when it does not successfully produce sleep. I also stretch before bed and that can help.

Best Wishes,

Liz H.

 

[anni]

L777,

My PTSD nightmare is a recurring one where I'm pursued by men in army boots who kill everyone else in the room. I hide in a trunk and escape but KNOW they were really looking for me and won't stop looking.

The only times I don't get this stupid thing would be days when I can run the cr*p out of my body. I do an early morning run on those days, a few miles, the last one pretty fast. That night I can generally sleep uninterrupted by those horrible men. I don't feel tired during the day, but maybe the stress hormones which I blame for all this get literally run out of my system for the day and I can sleep restfully.

Melatonin helps a lot of people, I know. All it does for me is make me feel sleepier but still not relaxed enough to keep the nightmares away. Hopefully it will have a good effect for you, though.

Take care,

Anni

 

[onebravegirl]

Hi Lion
This part sucks so bad. Yeh I have had the same things happen to me. The dreams are horrifying, especially when you cannot even comprehend how your own mind could come up with such horrifying stories. I do think that it is just part of a process where your mind is trying to re-create feeling that have long ago happened and are once again stirred up.
I tired so many medications and the only one that helped was called Cesamet Pulvule (or Nabilone-generica name I think).
Basically it is a synthetic Marijuana. Yep. It did help. But the solution will not be Meds, cuz as soon as your off them the Nightmares come back.
There are many techniques that people use. If it was a recurring nightmare I finally had to do the most terrifying thing for me. I had to lay somewhere comfortable, close my eyes and try and imagine every detail of the dream, but by staying awake the entire time I could "ADD" what I needed to, in order to overcome the fearful aspect of the dream. Not too may detail could be added, Only one or Two. Just the barest thing that could help me survive. To begin with I used my Horse blanket that I used to bring with me to the hospital and wrap tight around me when I was having Panic attacks. In my dreams of being attacked all I would imagine was crouching down and covering all of me with the blanket. It would be like a hardened shield that nothing could break through. I would throw a grenade out at what ever was happening and blow the whole thing up.Another dream was of my mother driving me and my children over a cliff. I added seat belts for us and not her. After re-playing this a few times in my mind and before I went to bed yet again, It happened the exact way I had imagined earlier. I have the dream again maybe two times and that was it. It went away. Having something that really exists in your life that you bring into the dream world helps. It is like the thing you are carrying grounds you from that world into the other. But like I said, by doing some prep work before the actual dreaming helped me everytime.
I really hope you will be sleeping deep and restful very soon Lion.
:Hug_emoticon:
O

 

[Grainne]

Hi Lionheart,

Nightmares are my worst and least tolerated CPTSD symptom. I also suffered a childhood full of abuse and my nightmares began when I was five years old. The only thing that changes is the frequency of these dreams...the intensity stays about the same. They are terrible, and graphic and horrifying. I, often times, will not even talk about them..cannot bring myself to do so.

I was diagnosed with night terrors when I was very young. Also had many issues with sleepwalking (still do) and I pretty much constantly yap away in my sleep. More often than not, when my CPTSD symptoms are really bad, I wake myself screaming and on my feet. I often wake in a different room from where I fell asleep...and have, on occasion, had to secure myself to my bed to keep myself contained. It's horrible.

I've tried a few meds in the past, but I found that although they helped me sleep, they stopped me from waking myself up and the sleepwalking got much worse. I've learned to live with it.

I also have flashbacks (or memories?) from the dreams while awake.

Anyway, sorry...lol...not so much an uplifting post, but, I understand you completely. There are many nights I keep myself awake, for fear of dreaming. Sometimes I feel like there is only so much I can take.

I hope tonight is peaceful and restful for you.

Grainne

 

[dharmaBum]

Dream Rehearsal

Hi Lion
.....Another dream was of my mother driving me and my children over a cliff. I added seat belts for us and not her. After re-playing this a few times in my mind and before I went to bed yet again, It happened the exact way I had imagined earlier. I have the dream again maybe two times and that was it. It went away. Having something that really exists in your life that you bring into the dream world helps. It is like the thing you are carrying grounds you from that world into the other. But like I said, by doing some prep work before the actual dreaming helped me everytime....

This type of dream rehearsal helped me with recurring dreams or super intense ones that cause daytime flashbacks. A counselor taught me a process for this. I would note the dream pretty briefly so I didn't have to re-expose myself unnecessarily. Then I would imagine a better way for the dream to end. I would visualize that happening and create a mnemonic for representing the better ending.

For example, when I dreamt that a man who raped me was making me help him move the buried remains of children and other people he had killed (fictitious dream imagery), I imagined that he just dissolved and that the bones got back together into people. When I meditated while falling asleep at night after that, I remembered how I wanted the dream to end and repeatedly told myself that he would just dissolve- that it was a dream and he couldn't really get to me and make me do things in my sleep.

More specifically mnemonically speaking, I've decided that I don't need to have any more dreams about this rapist, especially because in real life I have a lifetime no-contact order protecting me from him. I've remembered distressing dreams with him in them and visualized a green exit sign. If I see him, I think of the green exit sign and exit to my mental safe space. I haven't had a dream with him in it since I started practicing this technique, but I also haven't experienced alot of triggers related to him either. I've had other nightmares- the battle continues on! I also started taking a beta-blocker about two weeks ago and the nightmares have reduced greatly since then.

For me, it seems that distressing dreams further highlight topics that I am avoiding during the daytime. I KNOW I'm avoiding alot of these topics because it is so much to deal with and stay stabalized and able to parent, etc. However, what I've noticed is that many of the concepts that I've been avoiding are to my benefit to resolve. Usually I discover that the things I thought about myself because of what happened to me were so very wrong and self-harmful and that the resolutions initiated by bad dreams bring me a greater peace in life. Self-stimulated psycho-education I think.

My introspection re: dreams has become really routine. I'll have a crazy, often randomly seeming dream with a few key characters or concepts, wake up at like 3 am with a sick headache, begin having trauma memories and/or flooding, write out the dream, write out the memories, identify the negative cognitions CBT style- identify the positive cognitions, and then meditate a mantra involving the positive cognitions in a way that seems authentically truthful. I have to make sure that I truly believe the postive cognitions before I use them in meditation. By 7 am when my family wakes up, I usually feel better, but am also exhausted.

I've been researching chakra meditation and have been using affirmations for various chakras during meditation as well. For my traumas, root and heart chakra have been the targets lately. Root represents your connection to the earth and your right to be alive: pretty salient for someone with the kind of history you have related in your diary. Heart is the seat of joy- or sadness if imbalanced. Another direct hit for someone having to face the facts of PTSD instigating trauma. If you are a visual person, you can find graphic collections set to music that others have made to stimulate or balance each chakra on youtube. It's worth checking out, but I would use it just to get an idea of how visualization could help you while falling asleep. Certains colors and objects represent each chakra, like red and tree roots for the root chakra, etc.

 

[Lionheart]

I wanted to thank all of you for your replies to this post. I wish none of us had to endure these types of disturbances....
...it helps to know I am not alone.
I am also grateful that this is not a frequent thing with me.
hugs to all who want them,
L.

 

[DeadParagon]

my dreams are of every topic you can think of, being murdered or being the murderer, ghosts, zombies, being chased, getting buried alive, people from school teasing me, my mum getting back with her ex, my mum getting drunk, my teeth falling out, having someone hiding in my house... the list goes on. I've had nightmares for the last 4 days in a row. But I am so used to it it doesn't phase me as much.

yea.. that sounds like me.. then after war it added mortars and missing body parts to the mix..sorry i cant write much more..emotionally drained

 

[Nicky31]

Hi Lionheart:Hug_emoticon:

They are horrible, and I wonder having posted this thread a few days ago how you are doing now? Have you tried anyones suggestions?

I have had nightmares for some time and some are more gory than others. Last week I had a nightmare that woke me and when I eventually got back to sleep it returned. :poke:

Many of my nightmares involve planes either crashing with me in them or me watching them fall out of the sky and blowing up. Then there are the ones of being trapped in my monthers house. It's a huge feeling of risk and helplessness for me. My trigger specific ones have no subsided thank goodness as these left me in a bad way for days and waking screaming, but the PTSD has now filed all the emotions away in bizzare places, hence all of my current dreams.

I'm wondering what emotions you experience during the dream and what the emotions are when you wake? I understand that writing about the dream content is difficult and that is absolutely fine, but perhaps looking at the pure emotion might help?

Nicky