Relationship Ptsd Relationship Problems

[mnt10barbie]

I don't feel I have given any bad advice... I just gave an opinion and tried to stress the point we all have issue to deal with BUT when it comes to love sometimes we look into things too much... I stated that I don't feel watching porn with him will help you (I don't) but also to try and understand... Everyone is entitled to their opinion of course... i would just hate to see Brigglee ditch the guy when it's obvious she loves him!!!! Because he watches porn doesn't mean he doesn't love her!!! She has stuck by him (and that' so great) with the PTSD and to me that is an amazing achievement!!!! It's amazing I don't hate every man I come in contact with after what I have been through.

I see the good in people and men one man doesn't define my life. I have made mistakes but none of us are perfect (Brigglee check my post)... we all suffer through things and from what she has said this is ONE issue they have. Don't dump him and live in misery and alone!!! Remember misery loves company!!! Fight with all you have either to come to a conclusion or put it on the back burner, after all if you didn't care you wouldn't have posted your inner most thoughts.

If everyone agreed life would be easy!!!! I say stick it out and hope for the best... we only live once!!! I hope I never offended in any way.... Love and be loved!!!!

 

[Briggslee]

Thank you for your advice and support, mnt10barbie. You did not offend me.

I am planning to stick it out because I do love him, but the porn is still a deal-breaker for me.

When I told him I was leaving, he asked me to stay. He didn't want me to leave him. I know he loves me back, and I'm doing my best to work everything out.

 

[mnt10barbie]

That's it Briggslee!!!! I wish you both the best... Believe that!!! I know you two can work it out and be extremely happy!!! I believe we all view things differently but yet in some sort of the same way... opinions never hurt and you are in a good place!!! Live your life and your relationship in the way you both seem fit and all will be well!!!

I wish the best for you both and I mean that from the heart!!! Someone who loves you will never truly let you leave unless you truly want to and then their heart will be broken and sad... don't leave.... both of you support and you will have a life full of happiness!!! xoxoxoxoxo!!!

 

[chicken sammich]

Not sure what he does or doesn't do in his time away from me, but my issue is that he does not want sex like I do. I am so frustrated. We are 5 months in and enjoying each other's company but I feel constantly turned on and then abandoned. He will give me a steamy kiss and then turn away from me as if nothing more is needed...for him. I am truly clinging on to my patience. I have verbalized that I would like more sex and he hears me, but I just am starting to feel like a broken record. Yes he has told me due to his PTSD and meds he takes his body and mind are not always in sync, so I feel like a total a-hole for even bringing it up. sigh long long sigh. So to be perfectly honest, porn is MY friend sometimes when I'm climbing the walls. At least someone somewhere is enjoying it. lol

 

[Dee Morris]

I honestly don't see what the big deal is. I understand that some people, (usually women) have an aversion to porn but I really feel like you are making something out of nothing. It's not about you. He simply has some sexual needs that he is choosing to take care of himself. Masturbation is very normal, even when people are in relationships. Lots of people enjoy some visual stimulation. It has nothing to do with you, his feelings for you or anything like that. Unless his porn watching is interfering with his relationship with you, I don't see the problem. To be honest, sometimes when I'm feeling particularly stressed, I find the physical release from masturbation to be very relaxing. So in that sense, the masturbation/porn viewing is PTSD related because it has become a stress relieving tool. As long as I am not interacting sexually with anyone that's not my boyfriend or hurting anyone, I feel like my porn/masturbation habits fall under the category of none of my boyfriends business. It would really make me feel bad if my boyfriend made my willingness to comply his behavioral demands a condition of our relationship.

 

[chicken sammich]

Just so you know, my communication with HIM is my priority. I shared my thoughts with him earlier about frustrations listed above. I don't like talking behind anyone's back. It is not my jam. After a few attempts he listened to me. It was what I consider a "healthy" talk. I wanted to say what was on my mind, and he listened. Big props to my sniper! He didn't vanish into the night like he would have on earlier occasions. I love him so damn much. Keep up the faith, and be strong!

 

[Glara]

@Briggslee my ex was addicted to porn, and it was a huge problem. I never previously minded when men watched porn. In my past I had boyfriends who had porn mags, when I was young we didn't have video players yet.

When I was dating my ex he would rent it and sometimes if watch, no big deal. But eventually things changed. It started to affect our sex life. He wouldn't be able to really have sex, he had do basically finish himself. It progressed to the point I stopped having sex. Then he tried to blame me for not having sex. Didn't matter why he said. It became an addiction. He had a huge collection of mags and DVDs. He had a whole routine about how and when he would watch. And there really as no one to talk to about it.

Only you can know if it's a problem for you. In my case it was very obvious. I knew men from my past that liked it, but weren't addicted. I knew the difference. He could say anything he wanted but I knew in this situation it was a huge problem.