A
axolotlsquishmallow
I have PTSD from being raped and my current best friend is similar to the rapist in a lot of ways (in terms of personality not appearance). I think that because of the similarities there might be some sort of subconscious connection I draw between them that makes me think about it more when I spend time with them. Despite this we had a really good friendship and they are an amazing person who I love a lot and was able to feel safe around, which is a very rare thing for me to feel.
However, recently I fell asleep near them and began having a nightmare about the rape (i am unsure about the technicalities of nightmares vs other types of negative dreams so this might not be the right word please correct me if im wrong). I was apparently breathing weird or twitching or something so they became concerned and woke me up in a way that was very sudden and really scared me.
It has been over a month since this happened but I still feel unsafe near them. Not just when I am physically close to them but anytime I am in the same room as them it makes me uneasy and scared. They know about my PTSD and I have talked to them about this situation, they have been extremely supportive and understanding which makes me feel even worse for having these negative feelings towards them. I have tried looking online for literature about situations like this but have been unable to find anything, so if anyone has recommendations or advice I would greatly appreciate it. Feeling this way around one of my closest friends is destroying my mental health and I desperately need help.
However, recently I fell asleep near them and began having a nightmare about the rape (i am unsure about the technicalities of nightmares vs other types of negative dreams so this might not be the right word please correct me if im wrong). I was apparently breathing weird or twitching or something so they became concerned and woke me up in a way that was very sudden and really scared me.
It has been over a month since this happened but I still feel unsafe near them. Not just when I am physically close to them but anytime I am in the same room as them it makes me uneasy and scared. They know about my PTSD and I have talked to them about this situation, they have been extremely supportive and understanding which makes me feel even worse for having these negative feelings towards them. I have tried looking online for literature about situations like this but have been unable to find anything, so if anyone has recommendations or advice I would greatly appreciate it. Feeling this way around one of my closest friends is destroying my mental health and I desperately need help.