Sufferer Ptsd: Survivor And Mother Of 5 Looking For Support

[Mommyof5]

I have never been able to find a place where I can open up about my personal experiences with childhood sexualization, sexual abuse, molest, rape, and sex slavery, and have a community of Support to fall into.

I am a 23 year old mommy of five children and wife of five years to my loving husband. We are homeowners and ranchers out in the West...

I suffer from PTSD on a daily basis.

I have gone to years of therapy to learn to cope with my issues, but I have not seen a therapist in over a year. I am constantly juggling with being a good, present, loving mother, and being good, present, and loving to myself as well. I can have a streak of good days and then have a period of down days where I can't shake this crappy, angry, guilty, depressed; funk.

I want to help others but I know I can't do much more than I am already doing without going nuts.

I feel stuck inside myself, and it is so difficult to cope with the realities of the circle of PTSD while wanting to gain so much more out of my life...

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Welcome!! Here you will find compassionate understanding, and non-judgmental people who have experienced a lot of what you have. I hope you will find some comfort here.

You have your hands full with 5 children! I could never have done that. Be a mommy is one of the most important 'jobs' in the world, and I applaud you for dealing with them, and the aftermath of the abuse you have described.

When you have done some healing yourself, you will be able to help others. Right now, try to concentrate on taking care of you, the kids and your hubby!

Blessings of peace being sent your way....from me to you!!!

 

[franciemarnie]

Welcome! You are amazing juggling all you do! I have barely been able to take care of myself all these years let alone little ones. Wow!

You are helping people just by writing about your experience. This forum has helped me unbelievably.

See you around!

 

[Mommyof5]

Thank you two for the kind words. It is a juggle, but it keeps me on my toes, and keeps me functioning! If I didn't have my kids, I would be so lost. I take parenting and mothering seriously, it is a huge responsibility and I want to do it right. I want to let those five kids have a happy, loving, safe, and real childhood. That core belief and the values that come in hand along with it really help to keep me strong.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

I am an absent daddy of six, it hurts not being there but my personal PTSD is keeping me away from them :( you are clearly a strong mummy and will I have no doubt will be the best mummy to all of your little ones. Hugs :)

 

[intothelight]

Hi Mommyof5,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

One of the best things about finding this site is the realization that you are not alone and it is a safe place to share where people will really understand. I hope you find the information and support here helpful as you work on healing.

Take care.

Debbie

 

[Mommyof5]

Thanks everyone. :) I really look forward to being here.

 

[circe47]

Wow......5 kids! I had only one and that was enough for me- no matter how wonderful and smart he is. I used to say I had three kids in one he was such a handful. You are superwoman and should be proud of all that you have accomplished. Twenty three years old.....five kids....loving husband....rancher in the West. Can I be you when I grow up!

 

[Candleflames]

Hi Mommyof5 and welcome to the forum.

This is a good place to be for support. Having five kids and a ranch to manage with your husband you deserve all the support you can get. I have three kids and they are my main motivation to overcome my own past so that I can be the best possible mom for them. I want them to have all the goods things of childhood that I didn't get to have. This place has become an important part of how I take care of myself so that I can be the mom I want to be. I hope you find it as helpful.