PTSD Tough Deal - Memories and Triggers

[Noone.]

Thank you for the response, so what about you?

 

[Deleted member 487]

When we got there I seen the father on the porch smoking a cigarette, the mother in the kitchen on her cell, their were two small children watching sponge bob square pants on the couch, while their 6 month young brother lay dead at their feet surrounded by chicken bones and old cigarette butts.

Hmmm. Sometimes they can be doing this to distance themselves from the emotional trauma. The setting though, shows a lack of care.

he was starting to pool his pupils one fixed and the other blown raised red flags in our heads.

Hmmm. Too many details I'd need so I could assess that. But it's not my job and it's not proper to put the details I'd need on the internet.

Then I gave the mother what I thought would be horrible news "Mam your son has passed away I'm terribly sorry". Her response to me was "You can take that out with the trash!". Tuesday garbage day.

Oughta take the momma out with the rest of the trash.
:mad:

 

[SeaFoam]

Hey man.. If you ever want to talk i'm here too - worst thing I had to deal with is watching a mother and daughter die while I was trying to extricate them, never has left my mind.. Anyways - you have brothers here.

 

[Noone.]

PTSD tough deal

I've already written about a few incidents that had a negative impact on my life and for the most part my best friend mike ignatowski was right there with me. We both ran out of the old south end and had a blast just goofing around. JUNE 2 2005 It was around 2 in the morning when the phone rang my wife said it was Jim martin hes our union president but he was also my captain at 9s so it could of been about anything. He told me mike was in a motorcycle accident and I needed to get down to Stvs hospital, when I saw him he looked fine just like he was sleeping,so I held out hope. we stayed by his side the following days. Then B shift had to report back to work, we weren't there more than an hour or so when I got the call my best friend was dead. I didn't know what to do, but it was my responsibility to clean out his locker quite possibly one of the worst things I ever had to do from the Vegas money he had stashed to the pictures of his 2 kids along side the I love daddy drawing's the sadness was overwhelming. I miss my friend. be safe.

 

[logan]

bless you're massage
their's awlays other choice whe we feel 10 minetes later or the next day we all have that
if i'd done some thing different
don't drive your're sefl crazy
or your're be inline with me
thier's so much in my life
i just rack and sack them
keep fighting talk don't let this over helm you

 

[logan]

just keep haning in there done so great so far
your're that we need your're training and work is the thing that saves us

 

[Noone.]

I guess it was a good day

We were working out of 9s, yet another busy day, don't remember much, other than the fact that we ran our butts off with ems and 2 workers under our belt. It was 6:30 in the morning, 30 minutes to go and we are free when the fire phone rings engine company 9 structure fire ???? mozart. We were beat but got there fast Billy and Bobby went in through the front, Tommy and I stayied at the door, the feel was all wrong they were about 5ft in or so when it flashed everything in that small shit hole of a house ignited including my friends I ran in grabbed Billy, Tommy grabed Bobby who was smoking like crazy, but Billy was still completely on fire the scream is unforgettable I got him in the grass and beat him out you never want to see your friends like that to this day he thanks me for saving his life, what he diddnt know was a few months from then he would accidentialy almost take mine.

 

[baileysemt]

F9, as an EMT I can totally put myself in your shoes and relate many of my own experiences which are similar to yours.

Your posts have reminded me of a couple of things that my therapist brought up to me this past summer. I will toss them out here and you can do with them as you see fit. Including nothing at all, I won't be offended. They are just thoughts. :)

(1) The trouble with some of us caregivers is that we care too much. We are more empathetic, more sensitive, more open, more perceptive to the hurt in others than perhaps the majority of people out there. That is what makes us so good at what we do, but it is also what makes us hurt inside, too.

(2) As with my "problem calls" (the ones that caused my PTSD) a common theme I am reading in your posts is helplessness. I have struggled with helplessness my whole life. I don't "do" helpless. Which is why it was such a struggle and ended up being my "hot button" at the calls that caused PTSD for me. I am not presuming to know what is all going on with you ;) I am just observing that I feel like you're dancing around this central feeling of helplessness in each of your posts.

Not saying it is good or bad. Just saying it "is." OK? :thumbs-up


Hope this helps you somehow. I will keep you in my prayers too. We have to stick together. There are a lot of us out here.

Bailey