LaurenRose
Silver Member
Recently I was yet again at a loss as to how to get somewhere now that public transportation is not an option. It really bites.
I was on the skytrain (above ground subway) heading for downtown. I have taken the skytrain for ten years to and from work. On this day, I had a panic attack on the train. In between stops, which average between 3 - 5 minutes, I was so terrified that I pee'd my pants - right there - on the train - with everyone right there. Because I of the stress of being in public, the smell of the urine was very strong. I do remember I didn't know it had happened until I smelled it. I was so panicked, trapped and did not know how to get off the train. I was prying the doors apart before it had come to a complete stop. I wasn't mortified until I was safe at home - have no idea how I even got home. I was soaking wet in the middle of the day in a congested part of town 20 kms from my home. It was horrible. One of those traumatizing triggers that changed my life.
Since then, for about 2 years I have not been able to take any kind of public transportation. My trauma/addictions counselor had suggested parking and just looking at a bus as a form of exposure therapy. I did and just looking with the thought that maybe someday, triggered another panic attack and this time I had my bowels in check in time. I am looking forward to the day when I can take public transportation even if it means I am extremely uncomfortable, a state of not being enslaved to it.
Has anyone else experienced something like this?
I was on the skytrain (above ground subway) heading for downtown. I have taken the skytrain for ten years to and from work. On this day, I had a panic attack on the train. In between stops, which average between 3 - 5 minutes, I was so terrified that I pee'd my pants - right there - on the train - with everyone right there. Because I of the stress of being in public, the smell of the urine was very strong. I do remember I didn't know it had happened until I smelled it. I was so panicked, trapped and did not know how to get off the train. I was prying the doors apart before it had come to a complete stop. I wasn't mortified until I was safe at home - have no idea how I even got home. I was soaking wet in the middle of the day in a congested part of town 20 kms from my home. It was horrible. One of those traumatizing triggers that changed my life.
Since then, for about 2 years I have not been able to take any kind of public transportation. My trauma/addictions counselor had suggested parking and just looking at a bus as a form of exposure therapy. I did and just looking with the thought that maybe someday, triggered another panic attack and this time I had my bowels in check in time. I am looking forward to the day when I can take public transportation even if it means I am extremely uncomfortable, a state of not being enslaved to it.
Has anyone else experienced something like this?
