Pushing Ppl Away

[Deleted member 32655]

Poppy wishing you the courage and desire to fill your world with those more deserving of your time. Netwo...

Thank you, Candor. So thoughtful to say. I hope that we all can grow & know good from bad & just never entertain the bad.

A friend of 20 years has just sadly lost her place in my life. Whilst caring for my child (ill for 16yrs) she would call & tell me how tired she would be due to one bad nights sleep for her paid work. I'm not paid & wake every night as my son wakes in pain every few hours. I started to notice a pattern when I put my back out last year & she went to have a back massage at a spa & started to tell me how wonderful it was..! Or she'd hope to make me jealous or unhappy. I'm not a jealous person. So that would always fail. I could never understand how a "friend" would do this. Then I started to hear her talk about others & glorify their misfortunes, really be thrilled. Very unsettling. So I had to just step aside & back away as she's so toxic now due to greed. It's sad but my stress levels are so much better now. I kept telling her I have PTSD and need calm but she didn't care. I have a quiet life now, just less friends, two or three, none are toxic. I just need to win back my smile as my son needs to see it.

 

[Riot]

I think it's the double edged sword of any mental illness, really. On one hand you don't want to burden others, but on the other hand, it's when you need the most support from others. It also greatly depends on context and the interpersonal relationship with the person you're pushing away.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I isolated to protect myself but it's lonely and I don't want to be this way anymore. It's hard to find kind people though.