Ok, let me dissect this. Forewarning- I do this so I can approach the situation better, not to be critical.
1 & 2 - I have this stupid want for approval and validation from my Dad. I've never gotten it and probably never will and I'm trying to get used to this idea.
I had a feeling that was the case- seeking and hoping for some form of acceptance. Being that he's your father, it is important, because though he may or may not have been there for you in your life, he is still a type of authority figure, and being accepted by an authority figure is still a desire many people have. The feeling of acceptance, that they are doing what is right.
I know it shouldn't matter, but it makes me absolutely furious that he's gone from 'indifferent' to actively disapproving of me after all I've done for him.
Not meaning to be nosy, again rhetorical if you wish, but have you done more for him than he has for you? I found it's often much better, mentally, if I do something for someone and when they do something to tick me off, I leave. I walk away, not mentioning what I have done for them. This way after all ties are cut and they eventually see what it is I have done for them, they can wallow in their own self-pity without me there. In many cases you will find the best revenge is that which you do not observe the results of. First it keeps your hands clean, and second it keeps you mentally clean. Just something to reflect on for future reference, not something to talk and and laugh about. The latter usually results in the revenge reversing itself.
3 - I'm all on my own, and he doesn't even make a good safety net. For a long time the only reason he's been in my life is because he was the controller of mine and my brother's trust fund. But from the way he's acting, I'm assuming it's gone now. So I guess he's not much of a 'safety net' anymore.
Can you find someone else to be your conservator instead of him? Maybe you should consider not having one at all. If you're a grown man, then take control of your life yourself. If is a court-appointed or legally-appointed conservator/guardian and has misspent your trust fund, he could be criminally & civilly liable.
It's a little scary to be alone, even though I have my fiance. But my dad and my brother are pretty much my only family and I'm scared that I'm going to lose my brother over this. Him and my dad are close, so I'm on pins and needles waiting to see if my dad is going to drag him into this.
You'll have to deal with it one way or another sooner or later. I'm not saying this to demean you, but what if one of the dies? Or even both? That could very well happen. Like what I asked my ex-wife when her mother was interfering in our marriage, who the hell did she marry? Me or her mother? A friend turned it around on me. He asked me who the hell I married. My wife or her mother? I was baffled until he pointed out that her mother has only the affect I allow her to have, within reason. And I decided if I couldn't get my wife to think about "us" for once, maybe it's time we split up. Well, she finally decided the day I was in the ER, nearly dead from a wreck. If you love someone, you don't want to let them go. Ever, in all of time, you'll never want to leave them. But from what you say, there is no such love. You just gotta learn I think to let it go. Sometimes you have to cut unproductive ties to better yourself.
I've talked to some friends, and you guys here, and I'm feeling better about whether or not my decision was right. I probably could have handled it more gracefully and probably still can. But I need to remember not to engage and not to get sucked in to some stupid argument.
Reclusive, I think that what you did, according to what you say, is certainly right.
You'll be in my prayers.
