Putting Up Walls Vs. Setting Boundaries

[BloomInWinter]

In-between 'Nice' and 'Mean' is 'indifferent', 'neutral', and 'unresponsive'.

We do this by putting on a neutral expression, not giving them much eye contact, and keep on walking away from them. Escaping from their attention, over and over. A simple 'Excuse me' as we hold up a finger than duck and escape...no explanation needed...is fine.

We owe people nothing. We can choose who to give our attention to.

 

[BloomInWinter]

We don't always have to verbally state our boundaries.

But we do need to show them in action.

"I need to go now." (leave, or hang up the phone.)

"I am not discussing this with you." (leave, or change the subject)

"I don't care for this topic." (change the topic. if it goes back, then go to 'I need to go, now.')

Really, we can reserve 'nice' for the 'nice' people and just be 'effective' around most.

I never got that until recently.