Quest

[Bufol]

Many of you said you think of your partner when you're distancing yourselves. I'm just trying to understand that. Do you think of them as someone you miss, or someone that scares you? Do you look at their profile and wonder what they're doing? Or are they someone that pops into your head occasionally when you're overwhelmed with symptoms that we are struggling to understand?

Someone once compared it to being sick with the flu, you're just to sick to deal with anyone but haven't forgotten them. I understand that a bit, but not totally. When I have the flu I can't deal with anyone. When I'm shut out, my sufferer is dealing with everyone but me. Or so it seems. I understand that was an analogy and a pretty good one. I just don't understand why I get pushed away first and most. And I don't understand what is happening to you when your pushing me away. What are you thinking of me during that time?

I'm sorry if this sounds really self centered.

 

[Nusowa]

I am not a sufferer, but wanted to throw my experience in here as my sufferer has given me some insight.

But first and foremost, everyone is different, and I'm sure it can be pretty situational with each person as well.

For example, sometimes my sufferer is actually physically ill from his symptoms and sometimes he is more angry and emotional. So with each episode, things can be pretty different.

He told me he misses me and thinks about me, but can't deal with me at the moment. He can't handle the stress. And he will look at my profile during these times too.

Additionally, he needs some time to get up some courage, eat some crow, after shutting me out for something fairly small that upset him.

I'm sure there are so many different variables, it would be hard to say exactly what's going on with your guy. You should ask him when you're in a good place with each other.