Question About Dissociation

[billie]

What does op mean? :)

 

[digger]

Sorry, Original Post(er), the post or person that started the thread.

 

[Fadeaway]

@digger, I just replied on another thread, about the confusion of what disassociation was, because it seemed like I did different types and didn't think they could all fall under the same category, so that link is exceptionally helpful to me. I spent a while trying to find something like that on-line earlier today and felt more confused.

 

[Seasounds]

Does anyone only present dissociative symptoms when triggered?

I may or may not disassociate, depending on the type of trigger. If you are asking, "Is disassociation, ever, the only symptom that appears, when triggered?"', for me, I'd say, "No."

Disassociation, by definition, implies some that situation is threatening to an individual; the individual may or may not feel anxiety, fear, anger, etc.

When I was more stuck in the 'freeze' aspect of 'flight, fright, or freeze', I wasn't aware of my feelings, when I would disassociate-mildly, moderately, or strongly. As I have 'unfrozen' and I feel feelings, more readily, I am now usually aware of my feelings.

I've seen a pattern arise in my recovery. The more threatened I am, the less I feel my emotions. The more I feel my emotions, the less I'm disassociated.

 

[digger]

regress to who I was during trauma and start acting like it while in my head, I'm going "Why are you saying these things? Why are you acting like this?"

I can relate to that. I can be aware that I am behaving in a different way and even screaming my head to cut it out now and behave more appropriately, more adult, but stay stuck in traumatised child. I dissociate in different ways at different times/situations though and to different degrees. Partially zoned out from the world appears to be my default setting!

I'm unclear from your post if you mean that the only time you dissociate is when you are triggered, or if dissociation is the only symptom you have when you are triggered?

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I have a lot of issues with dissociation. It definitely happens when I am feeling threatened. I have no sense of the time missed and it ranges from a minute to probably hours. Sometimes it's just a void of space and time. There is definitely a large range of dissociation. Just because you dissociate doesn't mean that you have DID.

 

[Jesseve]

This thread has been a little blessing. Lately I've been having so many issues with this I'm glad to know its not only me and I'm no completely losing my mind. It's like a ten pound weight was pulled off my chest. How do I explain the dissociation to my partner? Right now I just shut down when I'm depressed or feel lost or not myself. I'm quiet and don't have much thought or feel towards anything. I want him to know it isn't his fault or anything he's doing wrong but I don't know where to begin :(

 

[digger]

On the link I shared earlier there was a bit for friends/family a couple of pages on - I didn't actually read that bit myself but might be worth looking at @Jesseve, or maybe show him the whole link?

 

[Jesseve]

I'm not sure he'd read the whole thing. I could try. I have a hard time even telling him what I'm doing when I'm looking for answers and PTSD help. He just asked me" what are you doing?" And my response is "looking up stuff. PTSD stuff." It feels like he thinks its some joke and my responses do not help the situation at all. Ugh why am I like this!

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

I'm unclear from your post if you mean that the only time you dissociate is when you are triggered, or if dissociation is the only symptom you have when you are triggered?

I have just been noticing a pattern when I'm experiencing an emotional flashback. I'm not sure if it's when triggered because it seems like the triggers result in a flashback most of the time. I'm not really sure. This is a new realization for me. Sorry if it seems confusing.

Perhaps I do not understand the difference between a trigger and a flashback?

 

[digger]

Sorry if it seems confusing.

Dissociation is confusing full stop! ;)

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

Well, my original thought line on this thread was the flashback that I experienced the other night. I was at a fight night event with my husband. The smell of beer and the reggae music triggered me. Then, my husband said something that had the color of "status" attached to it (back story, my husband was in a famous band..he mentioned it....my ex was very grandiose and mentioned status all of the time even though he never had status....but in the moment, I was already being triggered by the smell of beer and music...I felt like I was back on the island with my ex) suddenly, I was acting like I was someone else with my husband. I was saying things I wouldn't normally say to him and acting a way that I wouldn't normally act. There was a familiarity to it. I said those things and acted that way with my ex.

That's the dissociation I was talking about that it seemed like I experienced. A flashback seems to me like a dissociation with the present and it's really disturbing for me. There was a disruption in my identity. My husband said I turned into someone else. I even thought he was pretending to be someone he wasn't and I told him so....but it was my ex who did that...

I see that I was not clear at all in my OP. I just threw out a question without adding my stream of thought. lol I apologize. I thought I could ask a simple question and have others relate without the details but I see I've just confused the lot :/