Question On Work Hours

[Upside Down Eagle]

Okay so this is gonna seem like the simplest question ever asked, but it bothers me and I think it might be a part of me feeling so anxious.

I started volunteering at the shelter "for real" (before that, I got theoretical information about the animals and such). I like it, I think I could stick to it. Anyway the other day I was there and I had been struggling to keep "normal" until 17:00 and just focus on the work instead of my body which still triggers me. I was happy when it was 17:00.

But then the manager told me to mop some more shelters and I was like "yeah but it's 17:00" and then he said "yeah but it only takes a while". I fell for that and I didn't know what to say back. I felt locked up, suffocated and "played", and when I was finally being to go home, after doing a crappy job, I was panicking pretty bad.

I don't want to have to tell him about my reasons for wanting to go home at 17:00. I am a volunteer, meaning I do their work for free and I should be able to go home when the day ends. So that's kinda what I want to tell my manager. But I know he'll be asking difficult questions, because they don't know what the Big Deal is and I don't know how to handle that.

What do you think?

 

[digger]

Tell him you need to leave at five as you 'have other commitments', I love this line, it covers just about everything!

 

[Lucycat]

Could you ask for a list of the chores required at the beginning of the shift, stating that it is important that you leave on time as you have other commitments? If what they suggest is not achievable in the given hours you will need to further negotiate.

I agree it is important that you leave at the correct time. Have a ready excuse - you are meeting someone, have kids to collect, need to visit Grandma. Anything that is plausible and prepared.

 

[illusionist]

I've learned that the only way is to be assertive in these situations...if they see any chance of you backing down they will push. Tell them you love the job but you must get out on the agreed time, as you have other commitments.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

.if they see any chance of you backing down they will push.

Yeah, I think that's my problem... that's also part of why I panicked... I hated that he was able to push me over just like that. I think it is good that I start by telling him that I love the job and then say the part about the commitments.

I think I'll tell him that I have other commitments and that it is really important for me to keep a tight schedule.

 

[illusionist]

....and remind yourself that you are not telling a lie, this can often show in our body language, you genuinely do have other commitments.....your own health!.

 

[digger]

you genuinely do have other commitments.

Absolutely. Your commitment can be to yourself. It is also an extension of your commitment to them that you take care of your mental health so that you can continue working for them. It is a commitment to your therapeutic process/progress to establish and maintain boundaries for yourself.....It really can cover pretty much anything.