General Questions to supporters who marry/date military vets with ptsd

[void]

Being with a partner with PTSD is difficult and when one does not have PTSD themselves it can make it even more difficult. Many Supporters struggle a lot in their relationship as noted in many threads in this section.

So, if I may ask, what attracted you to your Vet?

NB: There is no judgment intended in my question at all. I am simply curious.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Initially his sense of humor got me. We have very complimentary senses of humor. He's wickedly smart. He's loyal as hell, honest, and is good to my kids. He's an alpha male but he's not adverse to cleaning and cooking. He struggles with "romance" but every once and awhile he'll do something that knocks me out of the park. Plus he's a big, sexy, tattooed mofo :inlove:.

There is definitely way more good than bad times. He struggles when he's symptomatic, but he puts effort into our relationship. He's never left me. He's never cheated. As much as he wants to run he stays. Even in the worst lashing out episodes he has never called me a name. I have to remind myself of things like this when I get down. He's drowning but he's still putting tons of effort into us. He doesnt have to be romantic. I know he loves me because he stays when everything is screaming "run". That's more effort than most "healthy" men can manage.

 

[Buttercup]

@Sweetpea76 That is the best!

I was attracted to so many things right from the day we met. He is attentive, has the biggest heart and is so compassionate and sees the good in people even though he has seen the absolute worst of society. He is a great father too. He works hard and struggles a lot but will not say a mean word to anyone.
He is also an alpha male but has not been afraid to show vulnerability on a regular basis. We are super compatible in every way and when we are together things feel calm and right. We like to laugh and wrestle a husband it's just fun with him.

The physical chemistry is off the charts! That sure helps. :sneaky:

 

[Deleted member 44240]

I’ve known him for years and we had a very nice friendship and I’ve always been attracted to his model-like features. He charming and kind-hearted. Although he’s not a super tall man, he has the confidence of a man who’s 6.9. He very bright and intelligent to a fault and can make anything he needs to happen, happen. He’s younger than I am, but his intellect gives him what he needs to be on my level. Lastly, he’s a lot of fun with quite a sense of humor and I just enjoy his funny demeanor. We also share a lot in common professionally which allows for perfect synergy.

 

[Buttercup]

We like to laugh and wrestle a husband

Um, that is one of the oddest auto corrects I've seen. We don't wrestle any husbands :confused:

 

[A13]

I was struck by his sense of humour initially, he was witty and playful when we first met, once I got to know him I was drawn to how open and interesting he is! He prides himself on loyalty and that was a very attractive quality in my eyes.. He is thoughtful and generous.
And that body tho!!! My SO I couldn’t take my hands off for the first year!!!
The whole package really!! He just ticked all my boxes

 

[Never_falter2]

I do love this question. I think I was attracted by the fact that he was a bit naughty and playful first.
I do not think this is a ptsd thing though. It is a him thing. He used too tease me in a playful way. I used to tell him he was being an annoyance and he was like „Yes, I know... and I like it“... Wasn’t ashamed a bit. I protested him teasing me but it did not stop him.
He still often teases me. I think it is sweet.

I like the fact he is protective of me. I like the fact he is sports-minded and he is a team player. I like it when is with his friends and they like him because it shows he is a caring individual.

I think he is good looking.

I like how he works hard in his job and provides for his family.

 

[Never_falter2]

Lol. I did not read the other responses before I wrote mine... but now that I did I realized how many of you like the fact your Vet is playful/has a sense of humor... still do not think it is a ptsd thing... or a vet thing? No, I do not think so. How do you think?

 

[Sweetpea76]

Nah, that's just them. Personality.

 

[dulcia]

Sarcastic sense of humor, able to banter, physical chemistry, bravado/confidence.

 

[Never_falter2]

bravado/confidence.

*lol* I like it when a guy has a swagger like mine sometimes, only sometimes, does... it is just soooooo cute, but then it showed up in his sons... argh... I did not expect it... because I raise them to be humble and not be a tomboy and again I think that is cute but I am afraid they will do poorly in school. :(

 

[Sighs]

Chiseled abs and movie star looks. Sigh!