Hey there,
I'm a bit new to help forums, so I'm not really sure what to do here. My therapist refuses to answer questions about my diagnosis so I needed somewhere to go to better understand myself.
I'm 21 and have suffered with my diagnoses most of my life but only started the diagnosis process last year. Two months ago I was diagnosed with PTSD, OCD and borderline personality.
I've had multiple traumas and some of them were prolonged. My first trauma was at two when I witnessed my eldest brother throw himself under a train. My auntie, who was holding me at the time, went into shock, dropped me and I was trampled.
I won't go into too much detail about the rest as it'll take forever to type. After this my parents became increasingly abusive and by the time they broke up I was submitted to various tortures, mental and physical abuse. The best thing to happen to me was my little brother who I've brought up.
Age 4 - my other brother dies, no one tells me he's dead. I spend a long time looking for him and am beaten for asking. Abuse worsens.
Age 6 - parents split up, mum meets step dad, dad beats my mum in front of me, causing police and social services to become involved.
Age 10 - lose virginity against my will, mum doesn't believe me, systematic torture worsens.
Age 11 - estranged from father after he attempts to kidnap my brother and I (who I've brought up due to the circumstances). Father breaks my nose and attempts to drown me. Beaten up at school for being a freak after I have a panic attack.
Age 12 - didn't have many friends, but one of my closest friends had a seizure and died.
Age 13 - mum gets me into small scale modelling, making me lose 6 stone in one year, stops most food, regimental exercise routine, stripped every day after school to be weighed and measured and locked in my room for two days without food if I put any weight on.
Age 14 - get jumped on the way to school. Hospitalised due to weight issues early in the year. Later in the year as the abuse and torture worsens (having bleach thrown over me, scalded with a boiling kettle etc..) things get strained and come to a head when my mum, step dad and neighbour (drug addict) beat me, part of this witnessed by two of my friends. Following this my mum attempts to strangle me to death, my brother drags her off and is subsequently dragged away and beaten by my step dad. I find my mum after her overdose (she survives).
Age 16 - get with my ex - fiancé. Dad attempts suicide. Auntie dies, gran and grandad die. Removed from house as a repeat of age 14 occurs and they try breaking down my door. Get stabbed. I attempt suicide but pass out.
Age 17-19 - systematically isolated from everyone but my ex, he breaks my cheekbone, ribs and nose. End up with chlamydia after he cheats with his ex. He uses my ocd against me and induces flashbacks. Ties me up and attempts to inserts a bottle where it shouldn't go and slashes me down.. well, there. In august I end up pregnant but don't know until November, I tell him and he wants to rip it out of me with a coat hanger. He breaks up with me as I miscarry a week before my birthday. I overdose on bleach and alcohol and am comatose for a little.
Age 20 - due to the year before I go off the rails a little, hypersexual and impulsive, start weed etc. And drinking a lot. End up in dangerous situations and end up opening old wounds when two one night stands turn nasty. Find out I have a tumour (has since been removed) and break down.
Now - best friend attempted suicide, I found her. Tried a relationship with someone, but people touching my neck is a trigger for me, and he strangled me twice during intercurrent and slapped me.
There's more in between but as I said.. would be here forever. I waited a long time for treatment and my therapist has since made me worse. I'm trying to be constructive - I'm at uni, have 3 jobs and 7 voluntary roles and am trying to use these to run mental health campaigns etc.
I'm a bit new to help forums, so I'm not really sure what to do here. My therapist refuses to answer questions about my diagnosis so I needed somewhere to go to better understand myself.
I'm 21 and have suffered with my diagnoses most of my life but only started the diagnosis process last year. Two months ago I was diagnosed with PTSD, OCD and borderline personality.
I've had multiple traumas and some of them were prolonged. My first trauma was at two when I witnessed my eldest brother throw himself under a train. My auntie, who was holding me at the time, went into shock, dropped me and I was trampled.
I won't go into too much detail about the rest as it'll take forever to type. After this my parents became increasingly abusive and by the time they broke up I was submitted to various tortures, mental and physical abuse. The best thing to happen to me was my little brother who I've brought up.
Age 4 - my other brother dies, no one tells me he's dead. I spend a long time looking for him and am beaten for asking. Abuse worsens.
Age 6 - parents split up, mum meets step dad, dad beats my mum in front of me, causing police and social services to become involved.
Age 10 - lose virginity against my will, mum doesn't believe me, systematic torture worsens.
Age 11 - estranged from father after he attempts to kidnap my brother and I (who I've brought up due to the circumstances). Father breaks my nose and attempts to drown me. Beaten up at school for being a freak after I have a panic attack.
Age 12 - didn't have many friends, but one of my closest friends had a seizure and died.
Age 13 - mum gets me into small scale modelling, making me lose 6 stone in one year, stops most food, regimental exercise routine, stripped every day after school to be weighed and measured and locked in my room for two days without food if I put any weight on.
Age 14 - get jumped on the way to school. Hospitalised due to weight issues early in the year. Later in the year as the abuse and torture worsens (having bleach thrown over me, scalded with a boiling kettle etc..) things get strained and come to a head when my mum, step dad and neighbour (drug addict) beat me, part of this witnessed by two of my friends. Following this my mum attempts to strangle me to death, my brother drags her off and is subsequently dragged away and beaten by my step dad. I find my mum after her overdose (she survives).
Age 16 - get with my ex - fiancé. Dad attempts suicide. Auntie dies, gran and grandad die. Removed from house as a repeat of age 14 occurs and they try breaking down my door. Get stabbed. I attempt suicide but pass out.
Age 17-19 - systematically isolated from everyone but my ex, he breaks my cheekbone, ribs and nose. End up with chlamydia after he cheats with his ex. He uses my ocd against me and induces flashbacks. Ties me up and attempts to inserts a bottle where it shouldn't go and slashes me down.. well, there. In august I end up pregnant but don't know until November, I tell him and he wants to rip it out of me with a coat hanger. He breaks up with me as I miscarry a week before my birthday. I overdose on bleach and alcohol and am comatose for a little.
Age 20 - due to the year before I go off the rails a little, hypersexual and impulsive, start weed etc. And drinking a lot. End up in dangerous situations and end up opening old wounds when two one night stands turn nasty. Find out I have a tumour (has since been removed) and break down.
Now - best friend attempted suicide, I found her. Tried a relationship with someone, but people touching my neck is a trigger for me, and he strangled me twice during intercurrent and slapped me.
There's more in between but as I said.. would be here forever. I waited a long time for treatment and my therapist has since made me worse. I'm trying to be constructive - I'm at uni, have 3 jobs and 7 voluntary roles and am trying to use these to run mental health campaigns etc.
