whiteraven
Diamond Member
So...I've been in therapy (it feels like) all my life. Several different therapists, some I stayed with a long while, some just for a session or two. I am currently in treatment with a wonderful therapist who is also a Zen priest and mindfulness teacher.
I really like R. He's kind, gentle in his approach, doesn't force anything that feels unsafe and uncomfortable, accepts my DID, and is trained in and teaches Cognitive Processing Therapy, ACT, DBT, CBT, and a whole host of other stuff.
I've not been to see him in more than a couple of months. Most of that is because he was traveling and not available, but I cancelled a couple of sessions (very unusual for me) because I was angry: he told me about needing to be gone to teach around the country (which he does every week, but he's always available for my appointment) at the very last minute (something we talked about a few years ago - he promised he would always give me sufficient notice, because I have huge issues with abandonment in therapists) because he "forgot." Also, he had said he would be more available (text, email, phone) after we started the CPT and, if anything, he has been less available, so I feel like I'm dealing with the really hard stuff alone.
He is stretched. He does a LOT of stuff. He told me in an email a month or so ago that he realized that and, since his classes were being cut back, after mid-January his load would be much lighter. I was supposed to go today (but not next week, because he's traveling ?), but I cancelled because I'm not feeling...safe is the only word I can come up with. I think there is still some anger and not being sure of him.
I've been thinking about quitting therapy. It's been hard the last couple of months, but better I think. I get that when you're not working through stuff, there is not as much upheaval, and that might be part of the case here. I've been able to get more done, although I'm still having to push through everything and still feel like none of it matters.
I just don't know how to work through this. Because of past problems with therapists and because I don't want to have to go through my very complicated history again with someone, I don't want to seek out another therapist. I really would like to work through this, but I need a different approach because what I've tried hasn't been working.
I really like R. He's kind, gentle in his approach, doesn't force anything that feels unsafe and uncomfortable, accepts my DID, and is trained in and teaches Cognitive Processing Therapy, ACT, DBT, CBT, and a whole host of other stuff.
I've not been to see him in more than a couple of months. Most of that is because he was traveling and not available, but I cancelled a couple of sessions (very unusual for me) because I was angry: he told me about needing to be gone to teach around the country (which he does every week, but he's always available for my appointment) at the very last minute (something we talked about a few years ago - he promised he would always give me sufficient notice, because I have huge issues with abandonment in therapists) because he "forgot." Also, he had said he would be more available (text, email, phone) after we started the CPT and, if anything, he has been less available, so I feel like I'm dealing with the really hard stuff alone.
He is stretched. He does a LOT of stuff. He told me in an email a month or so ago that he realized that and, since his classes were being cut back, after mid-January his load would be much lighter. I was supposed to go today (but not next week, because he's traveling ?), but I cancelled because I'm not feeling...safe is the only word I can come up with. I think there is still some anger and not being sure of him.
I've been thinking about quitting therapy. It's been hard the last couple of months, but better I think. I get that when you're not working through stuff, there is not as much upheaval, and that might be part of the case here. I've been able to get more done, although I'm still having to push through everything and still feel like none of it matters.
I just don't know how to work through this. Because of past problems with therapists and because I don't want to have to go through my very complicated history again with someone, I don't want to seek out another therapist. I really would like to work through this, but I need a different approach because what I've tried hasn't been working.
