this might seem harsh but it worked for me. I hope no one takes this as a condescending attitude towards any other methods, some work for others but this is what worked for me.
I find that if I say no to myself in anything less than a totalitarian, unaccomadating, no compromises fashion, I will find ways to rationalise backing away from my decision to say no in small increments and then larger and larger steps until i am thoroughly able to rationalise smoking or whatever the behaviour I am trying tio deny myself happens to be.
just one with coffee doesn't work because then I have to say no again at first break or at lunch or while waiting for someone or whatever, all day long, no, no, no, no over and over.
using the gums and patches isn't really denying yourself the drug you seek, just changing the delivery method and i am soon rationalising that one cigarette and two patches isn't bad, I can do that and still be working towards quitting, on and on until I just say to heck with the bother and smoke.
But saying no in a loud clear voice that reverberates in my mind and makes the decisions easy to make as they come up on a daily or hourly or constant basis that much easier to make- I already made it, it is cast in stone and unbending and it is NO to tobacco and nicotine.
And it doesn't hurt if you can reward yourself with a little self care for honoring the NO decision, like a trip to see a favorite band or a day at the beach with a friend. After you have accepted these rewards, it just makes it that much harder to allow yourself to cave in, it strengthens that one unbending NO by allowing yourself to see some benifits for having followed through.
The health benifits are definite, just not fast in arriving. It helps me to give myself little rewards to take the place of the larger benifits i am waiting for.
By the way, 6 years and not one smoke, not one bummed cigarette, not even one deep inhalation of someone elses second hand smoke, and I don't even think of it anymore at all. I said NO and I meant it.
Hope this helps someone- without sounding condescending to anyone that is struggling with maintaining their decision to quit. I know what that is like too, and I have empathy for anyone that knows what it is like to fail themselves and go back to a habit they were determined to break. I used to beat myself up horribly over it and I don't want anyone to take this as part of a beating. This is the way I found to stop the beatings, stop the daily obsession with quitting, stop the ever present necessity to keep saying no to myself over and over by doing it once and really meaning it.
