I LOVED smoking as well, thought I would never quit, had no intentions of quitting. Even when my husband said he just couldn't marry if I was a smoker, I said "too bad then" and lit up. It wasn't that I didn't want to marry him it was that I couldn't imagine myself without a cigarette.
I had quit everything else and smoking was really in my mind my "friend", so when the time came to give it up it was emotional. I really had to take time to "let go" before I quit. Just like I did when I quit drinking. I had to look at myself not as a "Smoker" but as a "Non-Smoker" and act like one, meaning change my morning routine. It was bizarre really, at first, to be honest. I had smoked so long it was difficult to imagine and I was scared thinking how I would manage stressful situations without lighting up, what I would do when I woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare if I didn't have a cigarette to "calm" me down. These were all questions I had to ask myself and visualize what I would do instead, for me it was an important task to do prior. I had try to quit before but I would panic the first day getting ready for the 4th day of losing it. I would always give up.
I changed my morning habit just enough. I used the patch briefly then stepped off completely. That first year I LOVED the smell of cigarette smoke but after that it stunk. Odd how that changed.
I wish you well, it is a major undertaking but not one that can't be done.
peace,
Rain
