Quitting Therapy.....

[joeygn72]

I know I need increased stability. Monday I was suicidal and actually picturing myself doing it which is a new thing. Tues Wed and Thurs weren't bad but after therapy yeasted day I haven't eaten since 6am on friday. I can't get off the couch and honestly can see myself just drifting off to sleep and not waking up... And none of this is troublesome to me. It's like I've accepted dying.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Well, you're not stable yet, so not ready for processing. Sometimes it can take over a year of skill building before processing is even considered. I think that at three months you're still in the working it out for yourself phase and pills may not be necessary.

If you're having sleep issues, the last thing you want to do is see a general practitioner or psychiatrist as they're likely to just pump you full of drugs. Yes, you'll sleep, but it's a quick fix and the underlying problem will still be there when you come off the pills, and it was in my case, only about 100 times worse. (My body/mind actually forgot how to sleep after years of taking meds to sleep.)

I suggest seeing a sleep doctor. A sleep doc can give you a sleep hygiene regimen tailored to you. My sleep doc refuses to give me sleep meds. Her advice worked for me, and I am so grateful that I can sleep again.

 

[Justmehere]

I agree with @Solara - and I would add that insomnia can increase dissociation and all kinds of PTSD symptoms, and then the PTSD feeds the insomnia for some people - and that might be a little of what your therapist is picking up on. It can be a tough cycle but it absolutely can be broken.

I could be wrong, but you sound numbed out, and really down right now. My heart goes out to you. Things will get better in time.

 

[scout86]

Since you asked, I think you're over reacting a little.

She hasn't insisted that you take medication, she asked you to talk to a Dr about it. So, talk to the Dr. Preferably a good one who you already have some respect for. Then ask ALL your questions and raise ALL your objections and see what she/he says. Gather information. Do they think you need something? What? Why? How long? What possible side effects? What are the other options? Pluses and minuses? Ask anything you want and insist on clear answers. Keep asking until you get what they're trying to say. They can't MAKE you take anything, unless they lock you up and it doesn't sound like anyone's talking about doing that.

I get not wanting medication, I don't especially want to go that route either. My T isn't a fan of it either, so we've never really talked about it. But lots of people do use it, at least for awhile, and being able to get a good night's sleep is a big asset. (At least rumor has it, it's been awhile!) I think this is a subject where you & your T can agree to disagree, if it comes to that, but, so far, she's just asking you to talk to someone about it. It never hurts to listen.

 

[joeygn72]

I really appreciate everyone who decided to take time to provide their viewpoint. Theres so much to take into consideration that sometimes I get mentally locked down and need others to help me decipher whats going on. Thanks everyone!