Ok. I issue one directive: stop hitting your kids.
If you don't hit your kids in public, but ONLY in private, why is that? Because if you restrain yourself from hitting your kids some of the time, you can do it ALL the time.
Which means somewhere in your head, you've decided you have justification to knock the kids around. NO.
Send kid to room. Ground them. Take away something for a week. Assign chores. Something. Firm, fair, consistent.
I got slapped in the face a lot. You do NOT realize how much force you're using. You don't.
As an adult, it took me two hands and a Houston yellow pages to simulate how hard my parents were smacking my 6-year old self in the face. And it was never for or in my benefit, it was stress relief.
It was one of the many ways they taught me to despise myself. KIDS BLAME THEMSELVES for your stuff when you lash out at them.
Now...
Honestly?
My suggestion is to note that it's the boy's choice as to whether the cub scout stuff gets done or not, and you should tell him so.
The consequence of him not working on it is not progressing and eventually aging out of the cub scouts?
Spell that out to him.
Tell him you love him no matter what.
School he has to work hard at ( I assume) but this?
It's optional for him.
Chosen activity!
Tell the boy you believe in his ability to do it just fine on his own, and to ask for your help if he needs it. That it's his job to work on and do it, so you'll be leaving him alone to get on with it. You're certain he'll do great!
( even if you think he'll fail? Tell him you have every confidence, the kid needs to hear that).
Then let the boy live with the consequences of his actions, or lack of actions. He might need that learning experience, that goofing off means losing a desired thing.
Or he might rise to the occasion.
Or maybe he doesn't want that as much as he says he wants it?
One less worry for you any which way.
If he fails, don't lecture. This is learning.
If you don't hit your kids in public, but ONLY in private, why is that? Because if you restrain yourself from hitting your kids some of the time, you can do it ALL the time.
Which means somewhere in your head, you've decided you have justification to knock the kids around. NO.
Send kid to room. Ground them. Take away something for a week. Assign chores. Something. Firm, fair, consistent.
I got slapped in the face a lot. You do NOT realize how much force you're using. You don't.
As an adult, it took me two hands and a Houston yellow pages to simulate how hard my parents were smacking my 6-year old self in the face. And it was never for or in my benefit, it was stress relief.
It was one of the many ways they taught me to despise myself. KIDS BLAME THEMSELVES for your stuff when you lash out at them.
Now...
Honestly?
My suggestion is to note that it's the boy's choice as to whether the cub scout stuff gets done or not, and you should tell him so.
The consequence of him not working on it is not progressing and eventually aging out of the cub scouts?
Spell that out to him.
Tell him you love him no matter what.
School he has to work hard at ( I assume) but this?
It's optional for him.
Chosen activity!
Tell the boy you believe in his ability to do it just fine on his own, and to ask for your help if he needs it. That it's his job to work on and do it, so you'll be leaving him alone to get on with it. You're certain he'll do great!
( even if you think he'll fail? Tell him you have every confidence, the kid needs to hear that).
Then let the boy live with the consequences of his actions, or lack of actions. He might need that learning experience, that goofing off means losing a desired thing.
Or he might rise to the occasion.
Or maybe he doesn't want that as much as he says he wants it?
One less worry for you any which way.
If he fails, don't lecture. This is learning.
