Sufferer Raped At 17, Ptsd Diagnosed 16 Years Later

[toopersonaltolist]

Hi All.

I recently began therapy after breaking up with my fiance. I had long since struggled with depression/anxiety and the breakup left me a little worse for wear so I sought out therapy to put the pieces back together. Throughout that last 16 years of my life, I have suffered flashbacks, nightmares, avoidance, numbness and never once did I consider that what happened to me when I was younger could still be effecting me now. I don't think I wanted it to be the reason I had issues. I wanted it to be a hormonal imbalance or something that just meant taking a magic pill would cure.

As I am learning more and more about PTSD, I find it so striking as to how many of us know logically things are true but are unable to accept them emotionally. This is something I struggle with constantly and get extremely frustrated with myself for. I also worry that not being treated for my trauma and never telling anyone about it until now has ingrained the symptoms so deeply into me that they are permanent.

Anyhow, I am new to the therapy and these forums. Please forgive me any reticence I exhibit, I am very quick to leap back into my rabbit hole at the slightest thing. I'm not sure what I hope to gain from joining this forum - education, support, ?

Kerry

 

[Butter-Bee]

Hi Kerry,
Everyone on here is really supportive of each other and friendly. It seems you will never be judged on this site so I'd say be yourself and don't be afraid to say how you feel, chances are that on this site what you say will always make sense to someone else.
Xx

 

[Jibby]

I was/am similar Kerry in that much stems for me from Bosnia in 1995, 16-17 yrs ago, but in all that time I kept quiet, ignored PTSD references and just tried to convince myself it wasn't that. And I am worried as well that I've left it too late (after years of denial, admitting it at end of last year and getting help still means v hard to talk about it as the next step in any recovery).

This site I've found education and support, mostly indirectly, and a lot of thinking "thats me" in reading others. That in itself has helped me.