Reactive Attachment Disorder And Ptsd Make For A Volitale Combation

[track108]

Yes you are right, you cant push her into therapy or getting any help. She has to want to help herself before things get better.

As for the walking away thing, if the situation warrants leaving for a few days do it, if you can go to another room for a few hours and she is calm after that do it.

I am a sufferer of PTSD and I destroyed my marriage. She left me because i verbally abused her. When she asked me why i was doing it, I didnt realise it was me who was being irrational, why, because i was being irrational. She doesnt know she is the one who is hurting you and the children. I didnt realise i destroyed my marriage

Does she have have family or friends or someone you both trust to talk too. Im not a professional all i can do is give you my past experience. I didnt start getting help till i had completly destroyed my life. Try and get her to go to marriage counseling, say maybe for your children. Read the carer threads and see how they deal with this stuff. I can only tell you about being a person with PTSD. I also dont know the whole situation you are in as im not in the home with you. Just remember to make sure your children are loved. Ill give you as much advice as i can give you, remember the more info you give the more the people on this forum can give you advice. pray all turns out.

 

[Tom Mintz]

Thank you sounds like I need to write a nice bio.

 

[track108]

Yes that would be good. The more details the better. We dont judge, offer advice and consolation when need be but no judgement.

 

[Tom Mintz]

Well, lets see where to start. Well I am Bipolar Type I Rapid Cycling, I will explain that later on. I am also a highly functional ADHD individual. Mine is a diesease and I respect that. Her's is much much worse than mine. At 27 years old she has already developed advaced arthritis, which will most likily be crippling in the near future. That is just a little fuel for the fire. Have you Kleenex's ready. Because if this doesn't make you cry than I would consider you heartless.

At two weeks old she was abandoned in an empty house, luckily some one found her. From there she went to a foster home that was already overload but had a highly disabled infant(completely blind at birth) that was constantly screaming and thrashing. The next home had a nine year old that liked to molest the toddlers. It was just one nefarious foster home after another. I assume everyone can see were RAD and PTSD would take affect. She finally was adopted by a family that had just adopted another mentally troubled child, he has Ashburger's Syndrome. In that home she was always the second child. Due to her older brothers illness, she was negilected and pressumed nothing was wrong with her. Her older brother has a history of molestation as well. YEAH! Ready for the roller coaster ride.

In her middle teens her brother had a major vehicular accident, he was not at fault and they are not sure she was alive at the accident. Trauma grabs us all, her brother seeks help but it isn't enough, he attempts suidice, trauma is still grabbing. And this time she is holding it all in to be the strong rock everyone can count on. But it still adds to her pile. Things settle a bit and her dad gets sick, the big C. Chemo for a year, scared, yelling in fear just a horribly tormenting house to be in for anyone imagine it had to be her. Whew!!!! Remission!!!! Relax, everything is going to be okay, Dad has a heart attack. Triple bipass surgery and a pacemaker. Well now I don't think she slept for six months after that.

My story isn't so sad, I am Bipolar Type I Rapid Cycling. I was diagnosed with Bipolar type 2 Rapid Cycle, which is rare in men. They, of course as it always ends up being, put me on the wrong medicine, it did things with my mind, and consiquiently I ended up attempting suicide. Obviously not successful, I quickly volunteer for admittance to a clinic. So, I am classed Bipolar Type I but the rapid cycles still fire off all the time. My ADHD is actually the one diesease I kind of like as long as I remember my pills.

Advice

 

[Tinyflame]

Tom, you both have sad stories. I hope you will be able to make new, happier ones together.

For the sake of the kids, I think you have to (kindly) speak to her in her most rational moment- try to forewarn her about it, and possibly after an 'episode' (next day or 2, let things calm down and try to do it when she is most receptive). You need boundaries in place. Concentrate on the children's sake. They can't help themselves, and right now they may be trying to. She may not want to address this (counselling), but they may benefit from it, as might you.

I hope for the best for you. Keep reading, you need to care for yourself, not be 'reactive', and not operate under your fears.